Enough
by Johanna's Motivational Insults
Summary: A young child meets a gray-eyed baby girl who stares at her way too much, and an immediate bond forms. They have their ups and downs over the years, but that bond can never truly be severed.
1. Part 1: 1995

A/N: This is technically a Joniss babysitter AU, though it starts in young childhood and ends in adulthood. It was originally inspired by a comic on Tumblr and the Joniss babysitter AU tag over on Jonissheadcanons (what a throwback). I've been working on it a few years, posting exclusively on Tumblr. Unfortunately their tagging system makes it a little difficult to organize/follow, so I decided to post what I've written so far on the more mainstream fanfic sites. A disclaimer, it's unbetaed and not up to my usual standards of quality, since it's just a fun little side project.

* * *

Johanna Mason was having a shitty day when she first met Katniss Everdeen. Not that she'd use that word - she'd probably get smacked if she did - but her older sister had taught it to her a while back. Her dad occasionally used it too, when he was cranky.

That morning had dragged on and on. After dropping Johanna's sister and brothers off at school, her mother had towed her all around town while she "ran Aarons," whatever that meant. "It's my day off," she'd said. "Only chance I have." Johanna had pouted and whined most of the way about how she felt carsick and wanted to go to daycare. At least there were other kids there to play with. "Can't afford it," was the unsurprising answer.

Her mood had gone from bad to worse when they finally got home and her mom told her she was having a friend over soon. Someone who worked with her, or had worked with her before she took time off to have a baby. So, great. Mommy wouldn't play with Johanna either. The girl was still sulking when the doorbell rang. Her mother answered, welcoming a beautiful blonde woman with a hug and cheerful greetings. "Oh, she's getting so big!" Mrs. Mason cooed at the car seat hanging from the visitor's arm. "Nine months now?"

"Almost ten." The other woman now glanced down the hall and spotted the little girl standing at the entrance to the living room, hands in her pockets. "And you must be Johanna," she greeted her brightly, flashing white teeth as bright as her shining blue eyes. Johanna didn't answer, caught between being grateful for the attention and annoyed at the tone the lady was using, the patronizing one reserved for small children. The blonde pushed her luck further by laughing at Johanna's petulant expression.

"Oh, don't mind her," interjected Mrs. Mason. "She's having one of those days."

"Terrible threes?"

"Fearsome fours."

Johanna's glower only hardened then. She hated when grown ups would talk about her like she wasn't even there. "Jo, honey," her mother urged her, "say hi to Mrs. Everdeen." Jo, honey had no desire whatsoever to do such a thing, but Mommy's evil eye made clear that this was an order, not a request.

"Hi, Mrs. Everdeen," mumbled Johanna, making only fleeting eye contact. She'd long mastered the art of playing surly off as shy to avoid punishment.

"Hello, Johanna," replied the woman. "Nice to meet you. Your mommy's told me so much about you. All nice, of course." That made Mrs. Mason snort behind her, and in an instant both women were laughing far too hysterically, as far as Johanna saw it.

"Come on, I'll give you the tour," said Mrs. Mason, nudging the woman forward and into the house. "You can put Katniss down in the living room, if you want." Mrs. Everdeen followed that advice, placing the car seat on the carpet beside the couch.

"Mommy," Johanna whined, trailing behind them. "Mommy, I want juice."

"You just had lunch, baby," protested Mrs. Mason, but Jo pulled out her best pout, making the woman roll her eyes resignedly. "Fine." A full sippy cup later, she took off again with her friend, showing her the house like it was something special. Her daughter boosted herself onto her chair and sat down with a huff, swinging her legs as she sipped the consolation prize. Juice wasn't allowed anywhere with carpet, so she had to stay there even once the women came back and settled down in the living room.

When Johanna finished, she slid off the chair and strained upward to place the cup on the counter near the sink, where the dirty dishes were supposed to go. The adults were engrossed in conversation when she returned to the living room, paying no attention to her as she sat down by the foot of the couch. The baby, on the other hand, was staring right at her, gray eyes huge and curious. She was darker than her mom, with dark brown hair and a skin tone that resembled a deep tan despite it being the dead of winter.

Maybe the dyed red streaks in Johanna's own dark hair had caught the little girl's attention, or maybe she was just one of those babies who stared at everyone. Either way, Jo wasn't about to let an audience go to waste. Crossing her eyes, she stuck her tongue out at the little girl, procuring a giggle. When she waggled her tongue, the baby grinned and jerked her arms and legs with delight. She emitted a loud squealing cackle as Jo hooked her fingers in the corners of her mouth and pulled it wide, garnering a look of disapproval from Mrs. Mason.

"Johanna, why don't you two go play in the den?" she suggested. Eyeing her friend, she added, "If that's okay with you."

"I don't mind," smiled Mrs. Everdeen. "Just don't break my daughter." She picked up the car seat and followed Jo to the den, which was decorated with strewn-about toys. "Oh good, you have baby toys," she observed, picking up some old wooden truck and placing it in her daughter's puny hands. "Now be careful," she warned Johanna, "and come get us if anyone gets hurt." Johanna wasn't sure how that would happen, as it wasn't like she was about to roughhouse with a baby, but she nodded anyway.

The tiny girl seemed not to notice her mother leaving, examining the truck in her hands. After a few moments, she tossed it aside and returned her attention to Jo, eyes growing huge again. "What, do I have something on my face?" teased the older girl, but the baby didn't even attempt to talk, just kept staring. Finally she wriggled a little in the seat and lifted her arms, and Jo got it. "Oh, you want out," she reasoned. "Okay." Extracting the baby from her car seat, Jo placed her on her bum on the floor and grabbed a few cars from a toy trunk, handing one to her.

As much as she didn't like it, Johanna had gotten used to playing by herself in the time since her nearest aged sibling had started kindergarten the fall before last. She was in kindergarten herself this year, but only two days a week, so she still had a fair bit of alone time to kill. So she got absorbed rather easily in pushing a couple of her own cars around, not paying much attention to the other girl until she noticed her fall over on her side.

Jo paused, unsure if that was on purpose or if the baby would start crying. Instead, she rolled onto her belly and crept forward on her hands and knees until she was close enough to push her car into the fray. Jo playfully bashed cars with her for a bit, making zooming and crashing sound effects that made the baby giggle again.

At some point the younger girl lost interest, at least in the cars, and shakily tried to push herself to her feet. She ended up grabbing onto Jo for support, but let go at the end to prove she could, finishing with a triumphant smile. Johanna had to curb an impulse to poke her with a finger and watch her fall just for the hell of it. That would lead to a time out, at best.

"Johanna!" came Mrs. Mason's voice from down the hall. "Jo, can you come here, please?"

Rolling her eyes, Jo joined her companion in standing. As she headed for the hall, she heard a thump behind her and peeked back to find the other girl crumpled on the floor. This was explained when she struggled to her feet again and attempted to take a step, promptly falling on her face.

"Why don't you just crawl, brainless?" suggested Jo. But the girl stubbornly tried to find her feet once more.

"Johanna!"

"Coming!" she called down the hall. "Just a minute!" Turning back to the baby, Jo found she had already fallen to her knees again. "You wanna walk like a big girl, huh?" Retracing her steps, Jo stood behind her and pulled her up by her hands. The baby curled her fingers around the tips of Jo's, pulling an unexpected smile onto her face. "Okay, one step at a time, kid." Jo got a better grip on the girl's tiny hands and proceeded to nudge the back of her right leg, prompting her to move it forward. "Good. Now the other one," she said, poking the left with her toe.

By the time they made it to the door, the kid was taking steps on her own. Shaky ones supported by Johanna, but steps nonetheless. She had the rhythm down for sure. "That's it, little brainless," she smirked. "Steady does it. How about we go show your mom?"

Traversing the hall, they finally rounded the corner into the living room, bringing the conversation there to a sudden stop.

"Ma ma!" The little girl sped up her steps a bit, teetering in the attempt to run but steadied by Johanna.

The eyes of the woman in question were as wide as her daughter's. "You got her to walk?"

"Uh oh," muttered Mrs. Mason.

"She was trying, so I helped her," shrugged Johanna as the girl finally reached her mother and threw herself at her legs. "Has she never done it before?"

"No," gapes Mrs. Everdeen. "She must've seen you doing it and wanted to try." Bending over to scoop her daughter off the ground, she praised her, "Good job, Katniss! You're such a big girl!"

Katniss. Johanna bothered to remember the name this time. The next time she heard it was at the door, after another half hour of playtime. Jo was sadder to see her go than she'd expected. "Katniss, you wanna say buh-bye to Jo?" asked Mrs. Everdeen.

With a faltering wave, Katniss pushed out a little, "Jojo."

Despite not being the type to coo over babies, Johanna felt a grin spreading across her lips. She waved back. "Bye, Katniss. See you next time."

The two women exchanged a look that Jo could not decipher over her head, before sharing a parting hug. "I guess I'll see you soon, then," chuckled Mrs. Mason. When the guests were gone and the door secured behind them, she turned to her daughter. "Well, lookit you. You made a friend."

***o***

The second time Jo saw Katniss, she was in a better mood, because she knew Mrs. Everdeen was coming over again and that meant she'd have a playmate for a while. Katniss wasn't the most capable playmate, to be fair, but at least she paid attention to Jo, which covered most of what the older girl wanted from anybody anyway. This time, she eagerly peeked into the car seat when the blonde came through the door, offering a finger for the baby to grab. That tiny embrace didn't last, though, as Mrs. Everdeen lifted the car seat over Johanna's head to squeeze past her and enter the house.

When she put her daughter down in the living room, the blonde immediately unbuckled her from the seat. "You wanna show Jojo?" she cooed, prompting another one of those excited flails Johanna remembered from before. Helping the baby squirm out of the seat, Mrs. Everdeen gingerly placed her on her feet. Wavering slightly, Katniss managed to keep herself upright. Then she slowly got her feet moving, teetering toward Johanna with those same wide, bright eyes.

For some reason, this was when Jo's teasing impulses resurfaced. Dashing out into the hall, she called over her shoulder, "Too slow, Everdeen!"

"Jojo!" came the small voice in her wake. But Jojo didn't stop until she was almost at the den and heard a loud thump from behind her. She barely had time to turn around before a wail rose up from the heap of a baby at the entrance to the living room.

Suddenly fearing she'd get in trouble, and also feeling just a little bit bad, Johanna backtracked and squatted down in front of the tiny girl prone on the carpet. "Hey, hey," she said softly, patting her back, "you okay?" The crying stopped immediately as Katniss tried to get to her feet. Jo had barely straightened up by the time the baby flung herself at her leg and latched on. "Whoa!" Trying to move the ensnared leg, Johanna found her captor clinging all the tighter.

"Jojo," mumbled Katniss as the girl tried to shake her off.

With an exasperated chuckle, Jo bent down and hooked her hands under Katniss's armpits. The baby let go immediately as Johanna scooped her up, but the second she was cradled in the older girl's chest, she threw her arms around her neck and held on tight again. "Okay," chuckled Jo, rubbing Katniss's back as the the kid squirmed around in her arms to cling to her like a koala. "Jojo picks up."

"She's not usually so affectionate," mused Mrs. Everdeen from the couch, snapping Johanna out of the moment. "She likes you."

"Everyone likes me," smirked the four year-old.

"Oh, not so fast," laughed Mrs. Mason. But for once, Johanna felt no measure of indignity at her teasing. With this smaller girl clutching her fiercely, for the moment she didn't much care who else liked her. This was enough.


	2. Part 2: 1997-2002

Though Johanna had friends her own age who lived closer to her neighbourhood, she always got extra excited when Katniss and her mother came over for playdates. Maybe it was the thrill of being looked up to by somebody, given she had three older siblings and disengaged, fatigued parents. Whatever it was, she had a special place in her heart for the kid and felt the urge to protect her. One time, one of her brothers stole Katniss's stern-looking teddy bear "Mr. Gwumps" and dangled it above her head, and Johanna decked him. She gladly took her ensuing punishment for the opportunity to return the bear to the crying toddler's arms. No one teased Katniss in Johanna's presence and got away with it. No one except her.

Of course, Katniss didn't always know she was being teased. Like when Johanna would call her brainless. She had always used the nickname affectionately, so Katniss had no idea that it was demeaning. One time Mrs. Mason overheard and chided her daughter, "Johanna, don't call her that."

"She likes it!" protested Jo. "Right, brainless?"

"She doesn't know what it means."

Rocking on her toes happily, Katniss parroted the insult back. "Bwainyess."

A resigned sigh passing her lips, Mrs. Mason shook her head. "Don't let her mother hear."

Johanna had just turned seven when they had their first sleepover. Katniss's parents wanted to go on a trip for their fifth anniversary, and apparently they had no other family nearby to watch the three year-old. Katniss stayed over for four nights, but the first one was the hardest. That hot August night in Johanna's room, Katniss watched with forlorn eyes from the army cot, clutching Mr. Grumps as Johanna built a tower out of Lego.

Partly because she wanted attention and partly because she wanted to make Katniss feel better, Johanna looked up from her work and asked, "What's wrong, kid? You miss your mommy?"

"And my daddy," mumbled the little girl.

"Hey, they'll be back in a few days." That did nothing to remove the glum expression from her face, so Jo tried another tactic. "Jeez, I thought you'd be happy to see me," she pouted. As uncertainty crept into Katniss's expression, she went in for the kill. "I thought we were friends, Katniss."

Immediately she confirmed, "We're fwiends."

"Then stop sulking and come play with me," demanded Johanna, reaching out and giving her hanging leg a playful little tug. Actually smiling, Katniss joined her on the floor.

Too soon, Mrs. Mason was at the door. "Eight o'clock," she announced. "It's your bedtime, Katniss."

"Noooo," whined Katniss. "I wanna pyay wit Jojo."

"Come on, Mom. They're never gonna know," said Jo. "It's only half an hour."

Her mother expelled a hefty sigh and walked away, mumbling about how she was "too old for this shit." But at 8:30, she promptly showed up again and demanded they get ready for bed. No ifs, ands, or buts. Within ten minutes, the light was out and they were tucked into their beds.

Not long after Mrs. Mason's footsteps disappeared down the stairs, Jo heard the rustle of sheets and squeaks of springs as Katniss stirred on the cot. "Jojo?"

The size of Johanna's smile surprised her as she opened her eyes and answered, "Yeah, brainless?"

Jo's curtains weren't of the blackout variety and it was a long summer evening, so she could easily see Katniss getting up and padding over to her bed, clutching Mr. Grumps with wide eyes. "I'm quared."

"Of what? The dark?" Katniss gave a quiet nod in reply. "It's not even that dark out, kid."

"Yet," she mumbled, looking at the floor.

Johanna decided this was a fair point. "We might still have a nightlight somewhere," she thought aloud. She hadn't been scared of the dark for years. As Jo shifted her weight to get up and look, Katniss quietly gripped the bottom sheet, and it occurred to her what the girl really wanted. Rolling her eyes, she tossed the covers back and shuffled over. "Fine. Get in."

Katniss climbed in gratefully, settling down facing Jo and curling around her prized stuffie. After blinking shyly up to Johanna's eyes, she screwed her own shut. They only fluttered once more when Jo rested a hand on her upper arm, and within minutes she appeared to be sound asleep. Johanna was still wide awake, but resisted the urge to squirm around, letting the younger girl sleep.

When Johanna woke up the next morning, a weight on her chest made her look down curiously. Still dead to the world, Katniss was sprawled on top of her, limbs sticking every which way. Unable to recall how this happened, Johanna chuckled to herself and lifted a gentle hand to rub Katniss's back. Jo was usually up and about by this time, so it wasn't long before her mother came in to check on them. Shaking her head, Mrs. Mason smiled at the sight. "Adorable."

"I know," smirked Johanna. "She's scared of the dark."

"Careful," warned her mother. "You let a kid do that once, they'll never get out. Like letting a dog sleep on your bed."

"At least she doesn't slobber," retorted Jo.

Their conversation woke Katniss, and soon the two girls were running around the house, shrieking and roughhousing. In no mood for the racket, Mrs. Mason kicked them out of the house and told them to go to the park down the road. It's unheard of now, but back in the 1990s kids could get away with that without the police getting called on their parents.

The remaining nights went smoother. True to Mrs. Mason's word, Katniss clambered into Johanna's bed every time. And every morning, Jo woke to find Katniss had latched onto her in her sleep. So much for not being affectionate. But Johanna found she didn't mind.

It was Mr. Everdeen who came to collect Katniss on the day they got back. Johanna had only met him a handful of times, but she liked him. He was quiet and handsome, and he didn't use that little kid tone on Johanna, unlike his wife. He was the spitting image of Katniss, caramel skin and dark shaggy hair, mesmerizing gray eyes. Katniss's matching ones lit up as soon as she saw him standing in the doorway. "Daddy!" she squealed, sprinting over and jumping into his arms.

"Hey, little one," he said, holding her close as she threw her tiny arms around his neck. "Did you have a good time?"

"Yes. Jojo and Mrs. Mason were weally nice to me."

"That's good, sweetheart. I'm glad." Taking Katniss's bag of clothes from Mrs. Mason, he quietly asked, "Was she any trouble?"

"Not other than crawling into Johanna's bed, no," she replied. Johanna scowled at the ground. For some reason, she didn't like that her mom felt the need to tell him that. And that she thought it was troublesome. "Next time, pack her nightlight."

Mr. Everdeen's eyebrows arched. "She doesn't use a nightlight." Shifting Katniss to his hip, he gave her a playful jostle. "My little girl isn't scared of anything, is she?"

"No, Daddy." Her proud smile wavered just a little as she glanced at Johanna to check her reaction, now that she'd been exposed as a liar.

All Johanna did was shake her head while trying unsuccessfully not to smirk. "Little shit," she muttered under her breath. But it didn't for one moment escape her that it was completely something she would do.

***o***

The first Jo ever heard of Primrose Everdeen was a casual remark from her mother to her father one day after getting home from school. "Know what I heard at work today?" her mom said as she joined her snacking husband in the kitchen. "Paula Everdeen is pregnant again. Guess they had a good trip."

Sneaking in behind her, Jo piped up, "What do you mean they had a good trip?"

Her parents exchanged a look, and then her mom nodded at the table. "Why don't you sit down, Jo, honey. We'll talk about it." And that was how Johanna first learned about about where babies come from and what happens when a man and a woman love each other very much.

The next time Katniss was over, Jo poked her in the leg as they set up an intricate Playmobil scene on her floor. "You excited to be a big sister?"

Katniss looked up with a huge grin. "Yeah."

"Think you can handle it?"

As Katniss nodded, that grin faded into something more like a determined smile. "Yeah."

Turning back to the figurines, Jo urged her, "Go easy on the kid, eh? Being the youngest is hard."

"Maybe they'll have more," shrugged Katniss.

"Being the middle sucks too," said Jo, trusting what her brothers had told her. "You're lucky."

"I'll take care of them." Laying a hand on Jo's arm, Katniss waited until she looked up before continuing, "Like you take care of me."

A warmth rising in Johanna's gut started to creep up her neck, and she changed the subject before it could spread to her face. "When did you learn to say your Ls?"

"A few weeks ago," beamed Katniss.

"Good job, brainless." Jo extended a fist for her to bump. "Pound it."

Katniss was true to her word. From the day Prim was born, she looked out for her. Helped her learn to walk, kissed her boo boos, sang her lullabies. If Johanna were to be totally honest, sometimes she was jealous of the baby. Jo used to be the closest thing to a sister Katniss had. And Jo's relationship with her own big sister was far from perfect. She envied Prim on both counts.

The first time Johanna officially babysat the Everdeen girls was when she was twelve. They'd had some other babysitter before, but she'd gotten a real job now and didn't need the money anymore. Johanna was more than happy to take over. Play with the kids and get paid for it? Katniss had recently joined a soccer league, and she made Jo play with her in the park by their house. Prim wanted to play too, but she was scared of the ball.

"Guess you still need me for something," remarked Johanna as they walked home, Prim skipping along the sidewalk in front of them.

"What do you mean?" asked Katniss, looking truly puzzled.

What _did_ Johanna mean? Their sleepovers were less frequent now, and it had been at least two years since Katniss had quit crawling into Jo's bed. Johanna was loathe to admit that she missed it. Though she was proud of Katniss's independence, sometimes she just wanted to feel needed and admired again. That's what Johanna meant. But she wasn't about to say all that out loud. "Something Prim can't do," she shrugged. "But give her a couple years and she probably will."

Pausing mid step, Katniss grasped Jo's arm and pulled her to a stop too. When Johanna reluctantly turned around, Katniss blinked in what looked to be some mixture of bewilderment and concern. "Jo? Did I do something to hurt your feelings?"

Sighing out her frustration, Johanna made earnest eye contact and shook her head. "No. You didn't."

Katniss continued to stare at her for a long moment, eventually sliding her hand down to grip Johanna's. "I'm really glad you're babysitting us now," she said, calling Jo's eyes back up to hers. Jo's reflexive smile proved contagious, Katniss's lips curling up as she tugged her toward the house. "Come on, let's go play some MarioKart."


	3. Part 3: 2005

Puberty drove somewhat of a wedge between Johanna and Katniss. In retrospect, Jo knew it was mostly her fault, but at the time it seemed inevitable. Her interests changed as she started to notice boys (and girls, though she didn't talk about that). Her body changed too, and suddenly the height gap that had been shrinking grew again. Not by much, as Jo stopped growing at 5'4, but it was enough to annoy Katniss because it made her feel like a little kid again. Jo didn't help with that, to be fair.

Though she had a couple flings and the odd kiss in her early teens, Johanna only got her first real boyfriend in grade ten. They met at the skatepark the week before school started, when Jo finally got the nerve to go after receiving a board for her fifteenth birthday a couple weeks earlier. She'd been practicing on the street but didn't want to make a fool out of herself and get made fun of by the boys. Blight was there that day, and far from making fun of her, he offered to teach her some new tricks.

Jo's attraction to him was instantaneous. He carried himself with confidence and had beautiful eyes, and despite being sixteen he already had muscles and a beard. Jo was a fan of that, and of him. Katniss was not, though. To be fair, she didn't really like most people, but she especially had it in for Blight. She only saw the guy twice, but had nothing but scowls for him. Not that Jo could blame her, given the circumstances.

The first time Katniss saw him was when Johanna took her and Prim to a park a little farther away than the one they'd usually go to. Jo claimed she was taking them there because it had an astroturf field, but it was also the one with the skatepark. Needless to say, she had ulterior motives. Prim had followed in Katniss's footsteps and was playing soccer that fall as well, so once Jo got the sisters to start passing around she moseyed over to the skatepark. Blight skated over when he saw her leaning against the side of the halfpipe, hopping off his board with a brilliant smile that set off butterflies in Jo's stomach.

"Not skating today?" he asked, seeing she was lacking her board.

"Nah, I'm working. Babysitting my mom's coworker's kids."

"That's a shame," remarked Blight. "Tomorrow, maybe?"

Johanna cocked an eyebrow. "Is that an invitation?"

His eyes sparkled. "Not that you need one. But yeah, I'd like it if you came."

"Maybe I will," Jo tossed back, willing herself not to blush. Feeling heat starting to creep up her neck despite her best efforts, she nodded at the field and told him, "I should get back. Don't wanna get fired for slacking off, now." Before turning away, she fired off a wink.

Just as Jo was coming up on the sisters, Katniss booted a hard pass off course. While Prim turned to chase the ball down and retrieve it, Jo opened her mouth to tease Katniss for missing her target so badly. Before she got the chance, Katniss wheeled to face her, eyes narrowed suspiciously. "Who was that boy?"

"What?" Johanna blinked hard, thrown by the question and the venom behind it. "Just a guy I know."

Unsatisfied, Katniss grilled her further. "Your boyfriend?"

Deciding to turn the tables and make Katniss the uncomfortable one, Jo pulled on a sly smile and winked. "Not yet."

That earned Johanna the harshest glower she'd ever seen from Katniss. Before she could comment on it or ask what was wrong, the ball came flying over and hit Katniss in the thigh. Glancing over to a grinning Prim as she trotted back their way, Jo settled on, "At least one of you can aim."

Barely looking her way, Katniss huffed, "Shut up, Johanna."

That was the first time it occurred to Johanna that maybe Katniss had a crush on her. But maybe not. She could be jealous of the time and attention Blight was bound to get from Jo, the same way Jo was still jealous of Prim sometimes. It didn't have to mean _that_. But the thought stayed in the back of Jo's mind after that and reared its head every once in a while.

Like the second time Katniss saw Blight, for instance. Though in her defense, she had much more of a right to be upset that time.

A month or so into their relationship, things were starting to progress between Johanna and Blight. And she wanted them to progress faster. When the schoolbell ended their lunchtime makeout session one Thursday, she was especially riled up and frustrated. She couldn't bring him to her house, she'd get grounded if they got caught kissing there. And the skatepark was no more private than the school. But there was one place…

"Hey, you wanna come over this afternoon and hang out?"

Blight's eyebrows arched. "Your parents won't mind?"

"They won't be there," she assured him. Of course, she neglected to tell him that it wasn't her house.

Both Mr. and Mrs. Everdeen were working late that day. Jo's instructions were to cook dinner and make sure the girls did their homework. Upon joining the kids at the house, she started with the latter, sending them up to their rooms. She said they could holler if they needed any help, but sincerely hoped they wouldn't.

Blight knocked at the front door about ten minutes later, and Jo dragged him inside and into a kiss by the front of his hoodie. Walking backward, she guided him down the hall and into the living room at the back of the house. Before she had a chance to pull him down onto the couch, he scooped her up and placed her on the cushions, covering her with his body. Even better.

Things got heated quickly. Within minutes, their shirts were off and Blight was lacing kisses across the tops of Johanna's breasts. She could tell he was teasing her on purpose, and had half a mind to rip her own bra off. Before she had the chance, though, they heard a door open upstairs, followed by footsteps. As they rushed to pull the discarded shirts back on, Katniss's voice echoed down the stairs. "Jo, I'm done!" she called, eager feet quick on the stairs. "Wanna play Sonic and get your butt kicked?"

When Katniss bounded into the living room, she stopped short, face draining of color. Johanna and Blight were fully dressed again, but still rather cozy on the couch and looking frazzled and guilty. And Katniss was naive, sure, but not a total idiot. That much was clear from her reaction. Mouth hanging open, some cocktail of emotions was welling up in her eyes.

Overcome by embarrassment, Jo demanded, "Don't you know it's rude to stare? Get the hell outta here!" When the girl didn't move, she pointed to the front door and insisted, "Are you deaf, brainless? Outside. Go climb a tree or something."

Finally, an emotion she could readily recognize crossed Katniss's face. Hurt. Her mouth moved like she wanted to speak, but no words came out. She settled for shooting Johanna a scathing glare and walking away.

"Who was that? Your sister?" Blight asked as Katniss stormed down the hall.

"Forget it," she said, waving him off. "Just one of the kids I babysit."

Blight's eyes grew wide as he put the pieces together. "And this is their house? You're supposed to be babysitting?" Jo nodded and he chuckled in disbelief. "Someone's a bad girl. That's hot."

"How hot?" she asked, sliding his hand back under her shirt. She heard the door slam a moment later, but was too preoccupied to care.

Prim didn't finish her homework for another half an hour, and that was enough time for… things. Not everything, but some things. A few minutes before she came downstairs, Jo saw Blight off with another kiss and fondle of his chest at the door. When Prim appeared and asked where Katniss was, Jo remembered what she had done and felt a faint pang of guilt. A faint pang was all she could register at the time, thanks to the high she was still riding. But that didn't stop her from worrying, so she suggested she and Prim go ride bikes and look for Katniss outside. Well, Jo didn't have her bike with her, but she had her skateboard.

Turns out Katniss had taken Jo's orders quite literally, perched in a tall tree in the park a few blocks away. Prim spotted her first and peeled off that way, biking across the grass. Jo hopped off her board and chased after her on foot. "Katniss!" called Prim when she got to the base of the tree. "Katniss, come down and play with me! I brought the ball!" she added, plucking the soccer ball proudly from the basket on the front of her bike.

Katniss barely bothered to look down. "I don't wanna play soccer, Prim."

"You always wanna play," countered Prim. Confusion clouded her face as she turned to Jo. "What's wrong with her?"

"I dunno," murmured Jo. It wasn't exactly a lie. She wasn't entirely sure what about the situation had set Katniss off or how she was feeling. Only that she was hurt over something. She didn't get a chance to ask until she had to take the kids home and start making dinner. Even once Prim coaxed her down from the tree, Katniss avoided speaking to or even looking at Jo the whole time they were at the park. Prim noticed too, Jo could tell, but she opted not to get involved, trying to cheer her sister up in other ways. It didn't work.

When they made it back to the house, Johanna held Katniss up at the front stoop as Prim climbed the few steps to the porch. Prim looked back long enough to see what was happening, then smartly disappeared inside. Once the door closed behind her, Jo tried once more to make eye contact with Katniss.

"What's wrong?" Still Katniss refused to acknowledge her, glaring sullenly at the ground. Johanna sighed. "Look, I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings when I yelled at you."

"What do you care?" growled Katniss. Finally she lifted her head, eyes blazing. "I'm just the kid you babysit." Planting her hands on her hips, she steamed, "You're too cool for me now?"

Forcing a grin onto her lips, Johanna threw the sass right back at her. "I've always been too cool for you, Katniss." Katniss scoffed in disbelief and started to stomp up the stairs, but Jo held her back once more. "Hey! Come on, I'm just teasing."

"It's not fucking funny!" Clearly agitated, Katniss had a hard time forcing those words out. It worked out for Johanna, who needed a second to blink away her shock at the profanity. It was not at all something she was used to hearing from Katniss. There was no question, she was _pissed_. Gathering her wits, Katniss pressed on. "I thought we were friends."

"We are," Johanna assured her calmly, hoping it would rub off on her. It didn't work.

"Really?" snapped Katniss. "I don't humiliate my friends to make myself look better." She cocked her head, eyes narrowing. "You wouldn't want to look dumb in front of your boyfriend, would you? Being friends with a middle schooler."

Johanna waved her off. "You'll understand when you're older."

"No," stated Katniss. "I don't think I will." Then she turned and stormed inside, once again slamming the door behind her.

Once the hormones and embarrassment had time to wear off, Jo actually started feeling really bad about this. It bothered her all evening and all day Friday, distracting her from school and from Blight. The guilt was bad enough that she decided she had to fix this as soon as possible. So that afternoon after school she grabbed a couple spoons from her house, swung by the corner store, then skated over to the Everdeens' house again.

Katniss answered the door, as Jo had been hoping for. The younger girl gave her a few seconds of side eye before starting to close the door in her face, but Jo stuck her hand out to block it. Opening her backpack, she pulled out two pint-sized cartons of ice cream. "Peanut butter chocolate, your favourite." When Katniss continued to silently glare at her, she tipped her head and implored, "Please, let me make this up to you."

The girl's voice came out stilted and sharp as she finally spoke. "You think you can buy me off with ice cream?"

"No," Johanna answered quietly. Pausing a beat, she flashed Katniss a charming, disarming smile. "I know I can." She nodded outside as Katniss narrowed her eyes, trying to fight off a smile of her own. Finally Katniss shook her head and sighed, joining her on the porch. She willingly sat beside Jo and took the carton and spoon offered to her, but refused to make eye contact. So Jo stared into her pint of moose tracks as she said, "I'm sorry about yesterday. That was a real douchey thing to do."

Despite her efforts to look away, Katniss's eyes flicked over inquisitively. "What's 'douchey' mean?"

Johanna took a second to rephrase. "It was not a very nice thing to do. I wasn't thinking with my head."

"What were you thinking with?"

"Not my head," she repeated pointedly.

Picking at one of her bitten-off nails, Katniss murmured, "Your heart?"

That led to another awkward pause. "No. Not really." Wanting badly to get off that topic, Johanna quickly continued, "I won't bring him around again, okay? And I won't fuck off to the skate park. When we're hanging out, it'll just be us."

Katniss snorted. "You mean when you're babysitting me?"

"You're eleven, you don't need a babysitter anymore. I'm just taking the money because they keep offering it. If I can get paid to hang out with you, that's a bonus." Johanna had a feeling the Everdeens kept paying her to babysit because Katniss had so few friends and they wanted her to socialize, but obviously she didn't bring that up.

Unconvinced, Katniss squinted her way. "It's not because you have to?"

"Of course not," Johanna declared, playfully knocking knees with her.

This seemed to satisfy Katniss, at least for the moment, and they ate in silence for a bit. Katniss was halfway through her carton when she suddenly asked, "What's it like, having a boyfriend?"

Johanna almost choked on her ice cream. "What?"

"I mean, how does it make you feel?" clarified Katniss. Eyes on her carton again, she confessed, "There's a boy in my class who likes me, but he doesn't make me feel anything."

Johanna shrugged and pointed out, "You're kinda young, still."

"I guess." Katniss said nothing for several moments, apparently lost in thought. "Do you ever think…"

When she failed to continue, Jo prompted her, "Think what?"

Giving her head a little shake, Katniss mumbled, "Never mind."

"You sure?"

"Yeah."

Given her previous suspicions and the content of their conversation, Jo couldn't help but wonder if Katniss was trying to ask her about girls. Laying a comforting hand on Katniss's knee, she assured her, "You know, you can talk to me about anything." Katniss twitched her mouth but didn't accept the invitation, parting her lips only to shovel ice cream inside.

Johanna shrugged. "Okay. Your loss, kiddo." Katniss shot her another glare, and Johanna remembered. That was no term of endearment to her.


	4. Part 4: 2005-2006

Things remained a bit tense between Johanna and Katniss after the blowup over Blight. Even after they supposedly made up, Jo could feel a slight hesitance and tension in Katniss's demeanor when they were together. A lack of comfort and trust. It hurt, but she couldn't pretend she didn't deserve it. Humiliating Katniss was a sure way to get pushed away.

Though it left a hollow ache, Johanna didn't quite register how much she missed Katniss's affection until she finally received some on Christmas Day. After she and her immediate family opened gifts and had Christmas brunch, Jo got on her bike and rode to the Everdeens' house. Her grandparents and cousins were coming over for presents and dinner later, but she had a few hours to kill. When she arrived, Mr. Everdeen answered the door with a surprised smile and invited her in. "Girls!" he called. "Someone's here to see you!"

Prim came barrelling in from the living room almost immediately, but Katniss didn't follow until her sister grinned and shrieked, "Jo!" While Prim threw her arms around Jo's waist, Katniss rounded the corner with a shy smile, edging closer.

"Hey, Prim," said Jo, giving her hair a ruffle. "I come bearing gifts." Prim bounced on her toes excitedly, wringing her tiny hands. Johanna had never brought them Christmas gifts before. She had a little more money available that year, that and she was still feeling guilty for her indiscretion a few months prior.

Since Prim was already all but salivating on her, Johanna gave her her gift first. She ripped open the wrapping paper and cheered at the stuffie she found inside, an orange tabby cat. Promptly proclaiming she was going to name him Buttercup, she gave Jo a quick thank you hug and scampered back into the living room.

"Primrose!" called her dad. Giving Jo an embarrassed look, he added, "Sorry."

"It's all good. She's excited." Actually, Jo was kind of grateful because Prim's present was much cheaper than her sister's and she didn't want to hurt her feelings. Butterflies fluttered in Jo's gut as she reached into her backpack to pull out Katniss's gift. Her nerves surprised her but she kept her face straight, revealing nothing as Katniss curiously took the box and started peeling away the wrapping paper.

Katniss's eyes widened and flicked up once she opened the box, revealing the leather archery glove inside. Jo had noticed that her old one was worn out and getting a little small for her that previous September, when Katniss took her hunting with her dad one time. Specifically, she'd noticed when she shifted to stand after one of Mr. Everdeen's shots and Katniss laid a hand on her thigh, silently instructing her to stay in a crouch. Johanna's eyes lingered on the hand and she couldn't help noticing the worn, strained leather on the back of the glove.

Johanna found herself gazing at Katniss's hand once again as she carefully extracted the glove from the box and examined it. Katniss hadn't started her growth spurt in earnest yet, but her hands were growing and probably about the size of Jo's by then. Jo found herself wondering and thinking they should compare. She shook that off and said, "I had to guess on the sizing, but if it's wrong you can go back and exch-"

Katniss squeezed her arms tight around Jo's ribs, popping the breath from her lungs and effectively cutting her off. "It's perfect."

Something half laugh, half wheeze pushed its way out of Johanna, prompting Katniss to loosen her grip. "You haven't even tried it on yet." Katniss rolled her eyes but handed the box to her father. Slipping her fingertips inside, she fastened the wrist strap and flexed her fingers, testing the glove's give. Raising her eyebrows, she gave Jo an approving nod that made warmth rise in the older girl's belly. Ignoring the sensation, Jo tipped her head and suggested, "Maybe you could teach me to shoot sometime? How to hunt?"

"I'd like that," Katniss agreed immediately. Suddenly registering that it was not entirely her call, she turned to Mr. Everdeen. "Dad? Can we take her again next year?"

"Of course," he replied, giving Katniss a smile with a hint of mischief. It turned warm and inviting by the time he looked up to Johanna. "You're practically family." With that, he gave his daughter's shoulder a squeeze and brushed by her to join his wife in the kitchen.

Katniss's gray eyes shone as she stared up into Jo's, the intensity of her stare making Jo's stomach gurgle. Stepping in again, she dropped her head to rest against Jo's shoulder and slipped her arms around her waist. "Thank you."

Easing her arms around Katniss's shoulders, Johanna murmured, "You're welcome."

A moment later Katniss looked up, forehead creased with concern. "I don't have anything for you."

"This is enough," Johanna assured her, unable to stop the smile forcing its way onto her lips. It was more than enough. She'd bridged the gap. She knew she'd be embarrassed about being a sap later, but right then she was too relieved to care about her pride. Doubling down on the puke-worthy shit, she pressed a kiss to Katniss's forehead. Katniss smiled, promptly burying her face in Jo's chest again.

Mere weeks later, Johanna came home to her mother's blanched face and some terrible news. There'd been an explosion at a factory earlier that afternoon, and several workers were killed. Mr. Everdeen was among them.

Jo felt the loss in the pit of her stomach, her mind going numb. Because he had been a mainstay in her life for years and she was fond of him, partly. But even more so, because she knew how close Katniss was to her father. This could destroy her.

Jo felt useless, unsure what to do. Her mother sensed this and gave a little guidance, enlisting her help making a lasagna for the family. Because cooking is an inconvenience when one is grieving, she explained. It was something to do, which helped. But once it was in the oven, Jo could only stare at her hands. Homework was out of the question.

She hadn't even noticed her leaving, but her mother returned home a few minutes before the oven timer went off. Cradled in her arms was a small, tasteful bouquet. Somehow the flowers made the whole thing more real, twisting a knife under Johanna's ribs.

Mrs. Everdeen appeared just as shell shocked when she answered the door. Taking the dish with a dazed expression, she gave an almost robotic, "Thank you."

Standing from laying the bouquet on the front stoop with a handful of others, Johanna raised a hopeful eyebrow. "The kids around?"

"Johanna," Mrs. Mason interjected quietly.

"What?"

"Let them be. You'll see them at the funeral." Turning back to her coworker, she added, "Let us know if you need anything else. Any of you."

"We will," replied Mrs. Everdeen before disappearing inside.

As Johanna looked helplessly at the closed door, her mother laid a gentle hand on her shoulder. "Look, I know you're worried about Katniss," she said, calling Johanna's eyes up to hers. "But you shouldn't force yourself upon someone who's mourning. It's rude."

Apparently, many of the people at the funeral didn't get the memo. After the service, person after person approached the family to offer their condolences. Which would be fine, except many of them were forcing hugs upon Katniss. While Mrs. Everdeen and Prim seemed to appreciate the gesture, Jo could see Katniss growing more and more uncomfortable, stiffening and avoiding eye contact. Eventually Jo decided manners could get fucked and cut in line, pulling Katniss aside.

Once they were a few feet removed from the horde of well-intentioned but overwhelming mourners, Katniss expelled a long breath and gave her rescuer a nod of thanks, even catching her eye for an instant. Not wanting to add to her discomfort, Johanna refrained from giving her the hug she wanted to or delivering any useless platitudes. Instead, she gave the girl's shoulder a firm squeeze. "You call me if you need anything, okay? Even if you just want to talk."

To Jo's surprise, Katniss willingly looked up and made eye contact. The brightness Jo remembered from Christmas Day was gone, her eyes now dead and dazed. Though her expression carried hints of relief and gratitude, Katniss could only respond with a mute nod. Unlike some of the other mourners, Johanna didn't take the lack of verbal response personally. She knew Katniss sometimes had a hard time with words when she was upset.

There was no money left for babysitting after that. Apparently the family got some kind of settlement from the company, but Mr. Everdeen had no life insurance. Jo called asking for Katniss several times in the months following, but Katniss always claimed she was too busy to come over. Eventually Jo resorted to dropping by the house one day. While Katniss appeared relieved to see her, she wouldn't let her inside. It was a bad time, she said. It was always a bad time.

Midway through April, things somehow got worse. Johanna was studying at the kitchen table after school when the phone rang. Mrs. Mason answered, and Jo didn't pay much attention to the conversation until her mother's voice turned dark. "Oh no." There was a short pause. "Let me ask her." Muffling the receiver in her chest, she turned to her daughter with a worried look. "Johanna, are you able to babysit the Everdeen kids?"

Despite the ominous tone the conversation had taken, Jo couldn't help but perk up. "When?"

"Now. It's one of their neighbours on the phone. Mrs. Everdeen just got taken away in an ambulance."

Johanna's eyes widened and she slammed her textbook shut decisively. "I'll hop on my bike," she answered, already out of her seat. "Be there in ten minutes."

When Johanna arrived at the house, she was surprised to find Katniss already chopping vegetables for a salad while a pan heated on the stove. "A bit early for dinner, don't you think?"

Katniss shrugged, barely glancing her way. "Something to do."

"What're you making?"

"I dunno. Scrambled eggs, maybe?"

Poking around in the fridge, Jo frowned at how empty it was. "No bacon. Maybe some toast to round it out?" Katniss nodded and Jo joined her at the counter again. "When was the last time your mom went shopping?"

"January 10th," answered Katniss flatly. When Jo's eyebrows flew up, she smirked at the cutting board. "I've been doing the shopping. In little bits, so it didn't raise any red flags."

"Red flags?" Katniss didn't answer, and Johanna was about to pry further when Prim entered the kitchen. Her quivering jaw and tear-stained cheeks quickly stole Jo's attention, and she knelt in front of the young girl and wrapped her up in a hug.

"Is she gonna be okay?" blubbered Prim, squeezing her thin arms around Jo's ribs.

"I dunno," admitted Jo. When the girl sniffled into her shoulder, she backtracked, "I don't know anything, Prim. I'm just here so you guys don't have to be alone."

"It's not like we need a babysitter," Katniss snarked from behind her. "We've been doing just fine all this time."

For some reason, that remark burrowed under Johanna's skin and sparked a fire in her belly. Turning her head to glare at the older sister, she snapped, "Do you want me to leave, Katniss? Is that it?" Katniss dropped her eyes silently and Jo pressed, "Well?"

Katniss pursed her lips and finally looked up. "No," she answered quietly, the vulnerability in her face catching Jo off guard. That did more to convince her than the answer itself.

Neither girl seemed keen on explaining what had happened, so Johanna didn't pry. For now. But Katniss's remark about needing something to do inspired her to provide distractions. Once they'd finished dinner and washed the dishes, she took them out for a walk around the neighborhood. Prim was finally starting to calm down, but Jo held her hand anyway as they strolled the darkening streets. Katniss silently flanked Jo's other side, eyes mostly on the ground. But after a few minutes, she surprised Jo by taking her other hand. Knowing better than to comment on it, Jo responded with only a gentle squeeze.

Exhausted from the emotions of the day, Prim passed out on the couch shortly after 7:30, halfway through some cartoon the others had agreed to watch for her benefit. Johanna carried her upstairs and tucked her into bed, not bothering to wake her to put on PJs. By the time she got back, Katniss had set up her old Nintendo console and popped in MarioKart. She had newer games, but Jo only knew how to play the old-school 90's games they used to play when they were little kids. Her family never had a console, so she only ever got to play video games at friends' houses.

After one Mushroom Cup devoid of their usual trashtalk, Johanna put her controller aside and tapped Katniss on the knee. When she made grudging eye contact, Jo asked, "Katniss, what's going on? Why are you doing everything for your mom? Has she been sick?"

"Something like that," muttered Katniss, pushing her start button.

Having none of this, Jo switched the TV off and tossed the remote over the back of the couch, culling a glare from the cranky preteen. "Katniss," she insisted. "What happened to her?"

Sighing heavily at the carpet, Katniss delayed a moment before answering. "She tried to kill herself." Glancing up to catch Johanna's shocked expression, she continued, "She's been lying in bed a lot lately. Missing work, not even getting up to cook dinner." Jaw twitching, she dropped her eyes again. "Anyway, Prim went in to check on her after school and found her unconscious in a pool of her own vomit. She was terrified."

"Oh my god." Her brain shocked numb, it took a moment for Jo to deduce, "So you've been doing everything because your mom was too depressed?"

Katniss nodded. "I didn't want anyone to find out. What if they take us away? Split us up?"

The thought of Katniss leaving tightened Jo's chest painfully, but she tried to stay objective. "Maybe that would be better. I mean, if you were with someone who could take care of you."

"I can take care of myself," snapped Katniss.

"You shouldn't have to."

"I like it here!" Katniss shot back, surprisingly loud and shrill. "I like my home. This is where… this is where everything was _right_." Her voice cracked on that last word, her face crumpling.

"Hey…" Johanna scooted closer and drew Katniss into her arms. She came surprisingly willingly. Jo's eyes burned and a lump grew in her throat at the feeling of Katniss's body trembling under her hands as she tried to hold back tears.

"Where's he gone?" Katniss whimpered into her shoulder several moments later, her voice hoarse and cracking once again.

"I wish I knew," said Jo. "But your mom's still here. And so am I."

"No, she isn't." Feeling Jo turn her head to look at her questioningly, Katniss explained, "Even if she comes home, she's not… here."

Mulling this over a moment, Johanna admitted, "I get why you didn't want to talk to me about this. I can have a bit of a big mouth."

Katniss laughed despite herself and finally lifted her head, making Jo smile. "A bit?"

Wiping a tear from Katniss's cheek, Jo continued, "But I'll listen, and I won't tell, okay? I'm here for you. And I always will be, even when no one else is."

Eyes dropping to the couch, Katniss sniffled and hugged her own midsection. "Promise?"

"Yeah," said Jo, pulling her back into the hug. She didn't let go, and Katniss didn't mind.

It was several minutes before Katniss broke the silence, murmuring into Jo's shoulder. "I love you."

Johanna could barely make out the words, muffled as they were. But she did. Swallowing hard, she squeezed Katniss tighter. "I love you too."

Eventually Katniss broke down into another round of sobs, and this time she didn't try to fight them off. Hot tears streamed down her face as she choked out how much she missed her father. Jo could do nothing to stem the tide even if she tried, and she didn't. She had a feeling Katniss hadn't had a chance to break down since he died, what with all the responsibility that had fallen on her shoulders.

When her eyes ran dry and she was left leaning on Jo for support, Jo eased herself back, drawing Katniss down onto the couch with her. Jo's heart simultaneously broke and swelled when Katniss grabbed a fistful of her shirt, latching onto her the way she used to when she was little. Ghosting fingertips up and down her spine, Jo sang her a lullaby she remembered Mr. Everdeen singing to his daughters when they were babies. He had a beautiful voice.

Katniss eventually drifted off, her fist loosening and breathing turning rhythmic. Jo waited a few moments to be sure before pulling the blanket draped over the back of the couch down and onto them, swaddling them in warmth. She may have dozed off too, because she found herself blinking bewilderedly at the sound of the doorbell.

It didn't even occur to Johanna who it must be, further evidence she may not have been fully awake. Trying not to jostle Katniss, she slowly wiggled out from under her. It didn't matter anyway, Katniss was out like a light and didn't stir at all until the doorbell rang a second time just as Jo was getting to her feet. Reacting to the girl's fluttering eyelids, Jo planted a kiss on her forehead before going to the door.

Standing on the porch was one of the most bizarre-looking women Johanna had ever seen. Spring green suit, golden paisley neck scarf, a heavily made up face and bright pink hair. That last detail was just making Jo think she should go back to doing red highlights like she had as a kid when the woman spoke up. "Hello, are you Johanna?"

Cringing at the woman's gratingly high and chipper tone, Jo demanded, "Who's asking?"

"I'm Effie Trinket from the Ministry of Children and Family Development. I'm here to pick up Katniss and Primrose and take them to their temporary home."

"They're sleeping!" snapped Johanna, her mouth hanging open in shock. "Can't you people just come back tomorrow?"

Effie pursed her lips. "No. We've found a placement for them across town, and the family is waiting."

Jo's eyelids fluttered as she absorbed this. "So they'll be together?"

"Yes."

Sighing in a mix of resignation and relief, Jo turned and tracked back to the living room. Easing herself into a squat beside the couch, she held off on waking Katniss for a few seconds, gazing at her face instead. It took much willpower to lift her hand and gently shake the girl's shoulder, because she knew this was the last moment before her life got destroyed. Again.

"Katniss," mumbled Johanna. The girl stirred but otherwise didn't respond. "Katniss, open your eyes."

When Katniss finally obeyed, the trepidation in her gaze told Jo she already knew. The apology in Jo's expression must have confirmed it, because her lip quivered a little and she barely managed to whisper, "Don't."

"Someone's here to get you," Jo pushed out before she could lose her composure. "I'm sorry."

"You said everything would be okay," Katniss whispered lamely, staring up at Jo.

"I know," gulped Johanna. "I didn't know what would happen, if your mom would be okay to come back or…"

Katniss transformed before Jo's eyes as she trailed off, gaze and resolve hardening in one long blink. "It's not your fault," she said blankly. "Is Prim awake yet?"

"No."

Wiping her eyes, Katniss nodded and sat up. "Okay. I'll tell her."

"You don't have to do that," Jo told her, resting a hand on her knee.

Her gleaming charcoal eyes narrowed incredulously. "Of course I do! Who else is going to? You?" Katniss stalked away, pausing briefly at the foot of the stairs before ascending them on unsteady legs, keeping her jaw set tightly.

Not wanting to intrude during the private moment, Jo wandered back to the door where the woman stood waiting. Doing her best adult impression, she mumbled, "You want some tea or something?" It wasn't a very good impression.

"I'm fine, thank you," said Effie. "But if you could help the girls pack, keep them on track, that would be very helpful."

"I can do that. How soon do they need to be ready?"

"The sooner the better," the woman chirped with a smile that struck Jo as wildly inappropriate given the circumstances. "They don't need to pack a lot - they'll have a chance to come back and get more things if necessary, but it's getting late."

"All right. I'll go hurry them up." As she turned to retreat inside, Jo finally remembered her manners. They had never been her forte. "You can come in if you want," she tossed over her shoulder on the way to the stairs.

Upstairs, she found a dazed-looking Prim packing a bag while Katniss encouraged her and laid things out for her on the bed. Catching the older sister's eye from across the bed, she said, "Let me help Prim. You need to get your own bag ready." Katniss narrowed her eyes and Jo quickly explained, "You don't need a lot, but you need to be quick. The lady said you can come back and get more later."

The look Katniss continued to give her made Johanna squirm. It was somehow both a dead-eyed stare and withering glare. Finally, Katniss grabbed the cat stuffie sitting on Prim's pillow and placed it beside the bag on the bed. "Here, don't forget Buttercup." Then she rounded the bed and brushed by Jo without a word on the way to her own room.

Prim was distraught, but at least she was manageable. Shell shocked, but easily directed. Katniss had already done most of the work anyway, but Jo helped Prim pick out a few more things to stuff in her bag before guiding her downstairs and into the waiting car. When she went back into the house to get Katniss, she found her in the hallway with a backpack slung over her shoulder and a duffel bag at her feet, staring at a picture of her parents on their wedding day.

"Katniss?" Approaching slowly, Jo laid a tentative hand on her shoulder. She'd barely made contact before Katniss jerked away, whipping around to face her. Assuming she was just jumpy, Jo tried again, reaching in to tuck a tendril of hair behind her ear. "Hey…"

Katniss shook her head sharply, stepping back before Johanna could make contact. "Don't. I can't start crying again. I have to be strong for Prim."

Chest suddenly cramping, Jo assured her, "You don't have to be anything. You're just a kid."

"I'm almost twelve."

"Exactly."

Face blank as ever, Katniss stated, "Johanna, I'm all she has." Then she squared her shoulders bravely, grabbed the bag and walked out the door, not looking back.

She did look back, though. After tossing her stuff in the trunk and closing it with finality, Katniss glanced back at the house. Then her gaze jumped to the girl standing on the curb and she visibly swallowed, her terror shining through for just a couple seconds. That was when Jo stepped in with a quiet "C'mere." Katniss leaned into Jo and clung to her one last time, if only for a moment. Jo clung right back, struggling to keep her own panic under wraps. "I love you," she whispered, palming Katniss's head with one hand and rubbing the other up and down her back. "I love you so much."

Katniss sniffled and pulled back, eyes on the ground. "Yeah. Thanks."

Johanna's throat was starting to swell, but she forced her voice to stay even as she gave the girl's shoulder one last squeeze. "Call me, okay?"

"Yeah," Katniss grunted with a curt nod, then she got in the car and closed the door behind her, immediately turning her attention to Prim. As the car pulled away, both girls looked back at her for a second, and Jo gave them a wave that she hoped didn't look as helpless as it felt.

Stepping back into the empty house was surreal. Johanna didn't quite feel like she was in her body as she wandered the shell of a home and took in all the signs of a life that had just ended. A damp dishtowel slung haphazardly over the stove handle in the kitchen. The wedding picture and a family photo from a couple years ago hanging in the hallway. The Nintendo console sitting abandoned on the living room floor. Johanna crouched and unplugged it, robotically put it back on its shelf. No sense leaving a mess.

There was no real reason for her to go upstairs other than her weird need to look at all the empty rooms. Later on, she reasoned maybe she'd been looking for some kind of closure, or some rhyme or reason to what happened. Or maybe it was curiosity, considering where she stopped first. Poking her head into Mr. And Mrs. – check that, Mrs. Everdeen's bedroom, she found a patch of wet carpet and a stripped bed. Johanna wasn't surprised, and in fact it allowed her an ironic smile. Of course Katniss already dealt with it. Little Miss Practicality. Little Miss Do Something to Avoid Feeling Something.

Prim's room was the mess it always was; the chaotic minutes of packing a bag hadn't done much to make it any worse. Barbies and Legos littered the floor, a carton of crayons laid open on a rumpled coloring book in the corner. Johanna spent a few minutes tidying, unsure whether her true motivation was to clean up the mess or to avoid the final bedroom. In hindsight, it was probably a bit of both.

Finally pushing open the door to Katniss's room, Johanna sighed. She and Prim were polar opposites in so many ways, evidenced by her spotless and organized bedroom. Even her posters were hung straight, decidedly uncool for someone her age. Jo's eyes floated over them. Buffy, Sonic, Mia Hamm, Evanescence, Halo 2. Gravitating to the bed, Johanna sat down with a view of the bookshelf. It mostly housed novels and sports trophies, but she felt a jolt in her stomach as her eyes settled on something else.

She must have stood back up, because next thing she knew she was standing by the bookshelf and gently picking up Mr. Grumps. The stern teddy stared back at her as coldly as his owner would in her worst moments. Johanna frowned, wondering how Katniss could have forgotten him. She reminded Prim to bring Buttercup, after all. And as much as Katniss considered herself basically a grown up, Jo knew she was still somewhat attached to Mr. Grumps. She'd caught her sleeping with him the odd time in recent years, though she knew better than to ever mention it. As she continued to stare into his eyes, it dawned on her. Katniss hadn't forgotten him. She left him behind on purpose.

Squeezing the bear tight to her chest, Johanna sank back down on the bed. Hot tears welled up in her eyes and spilled over, dripping onto his matted fur. It didn't matter. Katniss's days of being a kid were officially over. Johanna sniffled and nuzzled the damp fur that smelled of dirt and Katniss. "She'll be back for you, buddy," she assured him resolutely. "She'll be back for you."

***o***

No one else seemed to understand the toll this upheaval took on Johanna. To be fair, even Johanna didn't quite understand it. It almost felt like it was her own family that had been taken away. Maybe Mr. Everdeen was onto something when he said she was practically part of theirs. Not that it mattered, anyway. That family was ripped apart now.

When Johanna arrived home late that same evening, her mother greeted her at the door with a concerned expression. "How is everything over there?"

"Not good," said Jo. "Their mom tried to kill herself." Watching her mother's face fall in horror, she added, "Yeah. And they're putting them in foster care."

Mrs. Mason shook her head. "Those poor kids. First their father, and now this." Johanna nodded glumly as she kicked off her shoes. "Have you heard how she's doing?"

"Mrs. Everdeen?" Her mother nodded. "No idea. The woman who came to pick them up didn't say anything about that. I didn't even think to ask. Don't know why."

"You were probably overwhelmed. And more worried about the kids. It was your job to take care of them, after all."

"Yeah, and I did a great job," Jo muttered bitterly. All she'd ever wanted was to keep those kids safe and happy, and she'd failed. Some things were just not in her control. Not the explosion, or their mom's mental health, or where they got sent next…

Suddenly, Johanna perked up. "Mom, do you think we could take care of them?"

"Honey," Mrs Mason began.

"Why not?" protested Jo. "You get money for it."

"It takes time to apply to do all that. They could well be back home by then. Besides, all my kids have just grown up. I don't think I can handle any more."

Jo planted her hands on her hips. "She's my friend."

"Yeah, and she's going to be with someone who can take care of her now, let her worry about being a kid instead of running a family," reasoned Mrs. Mason.

Jo's eyelids fluttered as she absorbed this. "Wait, you knew?"

Her mother sighed. "I knew Paula didn't have her shit together and was mostly leaving them to fend for themselves. Good thing Katniss is as mature and independent as she is, or they could have gotten taken away a lot sooner."

"Katniss said she wasn't going to work," mumbled Jo.

"And when she did, she was pretty useless." Mrs. Mason's brow creased in thought. "She was just fired last week. That might have had something to do with it."

Johanna scoffed in disbelief. Tears seeped into her voice as she spat, "Well I hope your boss feels great about himself, because now my oldest friend is gone."

"Johanna-"

"Just leave me alone," snapped Jo as she stormed away. "You don't care."

Deep down, she knew she wasn't being fair, but she was too upset to admit it or to care how her outbursts affected others. Her mother wasn't the only victim. When Blight found her sulking in the cafeteria at lunch the next day and asked if she was okay, she went off on him too.

"My mom's coworker tried to kill herself yesterday, and I had to go over and watch the kids," she explained. Her throat threatening to close on her again, she swallowed hard. "They took them away."

Blight blinked curiously. "The kids you babysit?"

Jo choked out a painful half sob. "Yeah. The kids I babysit." Realizing this was the only context she had ever given Blight for why this would upset her made her feel even worse about herself. Isn't that what she had called Katniss? 'Just one of the kids I babysit'? Shame didn't even begin to describe what she felt.

"Hey," Blight said, attempting to comfort her with a hand on her shoulder. "It'll be okay. You'll find another job."

Jo's eyes snapped up and bored into his. All the anger she had been directing inward now boiled to the surface, and she was overcome by an overwhelming urge to slap him. She didn't, though. That would have been a great way to get suspended and grounded. Instead she growled, "Jackass."

As she stormed away, Blight called after her in confusion. "Jo? Johanna, wait!"

Johanna didn't wait. And though she apologized later and attempted to explain, she and Blight didn't last long after that. It wasn't his fault, but she lost interest in a lot of things in the midst of the emotional upheaval, including him. Her heart had never been in it the way she thought it should have been, anyway.

Weeks went by, and Katniss never called. Johanna dropped by the house several times in hopes their mom would be there, but no one was ever home. No one at the Ministry would give her any information. She wasn't family, after all. Months went by. Eventually she stopped perking up at the sound of the phone, stopped asking her mom if she'd heard anything. She had no way of finding Katniss, and Katniss didn't want to be found. She was gone.

* * *

A/N: Joniss just isn't Joniss without a lot of angst. Don't worry, things will look up again in future chapters. ;)


	5. Part 5: 2006-2012

A/N: Here's the payoff for putting up with all the angst and tragedy. Have some semi-angsty fluff.

* * *

Eventually, Johanna got over Katniss's abrupt departure from her life. Or, at least, she pushed the pain down and learned to ignore it, a strategy she was already very good at. That first summer was hard. She never realized how much she enjoyed sitting on the Everdeens' porch and eating freezies or ice cream until she couldn't anymore. Well, she could in theory go to their empty house and do it by herself, but it would be fucking weird and she'd look like a psycho stalker. So she didn't.

Time heals all wounds, or at least lets them scab over, hurt a little less on the surface. By the time Johanna returned to school for grade eleven, she rarely felt sad when she thought of Katniss. What she did feel was anger that Katniss had never contacted her, and concern that there was some reason she hadn't or couldn't, but she had no way of knowing. And Johanna didn't like to dwell on uncertainties.

Besides, there were plenty of other things to think about. People to think about. That fall, Johanna started dating girls. She made no fancy coming out speeches, but people noticed who she was kissing, obviously. Blight asked if he'd turned her gay. Johanna laughed and told him it didn't work that way, and besides, she was bisexual. Her mom asked why she couldn't just date boys if she liked them too. Johanna had no idea how to even begin answering that question, it was so stupid.

Her mom eventually came around, but only because she had to. Johanna never lost the feeling that she was disappointed in her, somehow. But why should it matter? She already had one straight, perfect daughter. Jo had always been the fuck up anyway, though she failed to see how dating girls made her more of one. Her dad didn't seem to care much, except that he started enforcing the bedroom door rule with girls too, and that sucked. Not that she couldn't find ways around it, find other places, like she did with Blight.

College was great, in that way. No sex police, no guilt-tripping mothers who just want you to find a nice man and pop out some grandbabies. Johanna did find plenty of nice men, though. And not-so-nice women. Apparently she had a type, and never learned from her mistakes. Some hearts definitely got broken, and not all of them were hers. Jo was used to it, though. She'd known this kind of heartbreak even before she'd had her first break up, and for some reason nothing ever seemed to top that first broken heart. Maybe it was because she'd known Katniss for most of her life, while her relationships always seemed to expire by the six month mark. Even when she fell in love, which she noticed only happened with women, she found it hard to be vulnerable. If she was being honest with herself, she'd admit that was probably a big reason why things always fell apart.

Occasionally she still found herself thinking of Katniss, wondering what she was up to. What clique she'd fallen into in high school. Emo kids or jocks, Johanna decided, if she wasn't a total loner. She wondered if Katniss ever thought of her too, if she ever randomly remembered some stupid thing they did in their childhood and smiled, then felt tears burning behind her eyes.

When Johanna moved back home after college, things were different at the house. Her siblings had all moved out and her parents were so done with parenting that they actually treated her like an adult. Well, most of the time. In any case, she could go out to clubs and drag herself home at whatever hour (or not at all) and she wouldn't get more than a sidelong glance. She never brought any girls home, though. Not just because of any potential awkward encounters, but because she didn't want to advertise that she was twenty-one and living with her parents.

On a great stroke of luck, it turned out her parents had booked a cruise vacation in late June and early July, right around when Pride week was. That left her with unlimited access to a vehicle and a place to bone uninterrupted if there were no other options. She knew she'd find someone during Pride, the festival that ended the week of celebrations was always a total meat market.

It was hot that day, hot enough that she could comfortably wear the non-official Pride uniform of board shorts and a bikini top. All the better to show off her assets and tattoos. She looked amazing, she could tell by the looks she got from other women (and even some men) around the festival. Maybe she looked too good, though, because a lot of them seemed hesitant to approach her. Johanna usually loved being intimidating, but that wasn't quite what she was going for here. So she turned on the charm and struck up several conversations, got a few new numbers.

That's not all she was at the festival for, to be fair. There was always great food, live music, and hilarious drag performances. And lots of booths with cool merch. Jo was just stepping out of one of the vendors alleys and back into the more open space of the park when she heard a deep but feminine voice behind her. "Hey, Johanna."

Johanna turned, eyebrows arching as she took in the speaker. She didn't know the girl, but she wanted to. She had a nicely defined jaw and her hair was tied back in a short black ponytail, showing off a very attractive undercut. Jo's eyes strayed from her face, raking over her tall and tan, slender but muscular body. She was wearing a tank top and board shorts, as well as a knowing smirk that made Johanna's stomach uneasy. Was this some girl she'd fucked and never called back? No. She'd definitely remember that. The girl seemed to sense her confusion but thankfully did not look ready to slap her, further proof that that was not the case. Taking off her sunglasses, she smiled down at Johanna with a surprising amount of shyness. Peering closer at her face, Jo zeroed in on the faint smattering of freckles on her cheeks, on her sparkling gray eyes.

Suddenly it felt like the ground had fallen out from under Johanna, her stomach doing cartwheels as her eyes all but bulged out of her head. She ripped her own sunglasses off but it took her mouth a few seconds to catch up. "Katniss?" When a small nod confirmed what she already knew, Jo found herself stuck for words again. She'd be lying if she said she'd never considered what she might say to her long lost friend if they ever crossed paths again. She had so many things to say to Katniss, so many things she wanted to ask her, but the first words out of her mouth were "Holy shit, you're tall!"

Katniss raised an eyebrow with a look of vague amusement. "Yes, puberty tends to do that."

"What the…" Shaking off her shock with a delighted laugh, Jo stepped in and wrapped her arms around Katniss's ribs. Katniss returned the hug easily, her arms draped over Jo's shoulders highlighting the very weird reversed height difference. Johanna was still beaming when she stepped back to look Katniss in the eye again. "How the hell've you been, brainless?"

She smiled at the familiar, if demeaning, nickname. "You want the long or short version?"

"Long," Johanna answered without hesitation. "As long as possible."

"That's what she said," cracked Katniss.

Chuckling, Johanna shook her head. "Walked right into that one." Canting her head to the side as she took another long look at her old friend, she ducked it sheepishly and admitted, "I didn't recognize you without your braid."

"I had a fauxhawk for a while in grade ten," Katniss informed her with twinkling eyes. "Really committed to the gay."

"That's pretty gay," Johanna pointed out, gesturing at the undercut. "I like it."

"Thanks." Her devious smile dampened into something more genuine. "Wanna go for a walk?"

Johanna arched her eyebrows. "Won't your girlfriend get jealous?"

Katniss squinted. "What makes you think I have a girlfriend?"

Smirking up at her, Jo asked, "Have you seen you?"

Katniss's eyes flicked away, face flushing hard enough to show through her darker skin. Johanna smiled smugly until it occurred to her that she was hitting on someone who was a literal child the last time they saw each other. Then she felt weird. Katniss wasn't a child anymore, Johanna knew that. She remembered her birthday. The eighth of May hadn't been a good day for Jo in years, always bringing that twinge of sadness back. But even if Katniss was eighteen, this felt a little wrong. On the other hand, she couldn't help herself. She'd never had very good impulse control, especially around pretty girls.

"I did," Katniss finally said, rubbing the back of her neck and still unable to look her in the eye. "We were together most of grade eleven and into grade twelve, but then she got a rowing scholarship to the eastern states for next year. Figured we'd break up then rather than drag it out."

"Couldn't you have gone with her?"

Katniss shook her head, chancing a glance in Johanna's direction. "It wasn't serious enough to make me consider leaving Prim. Besides, I got a scholarship in town. Can't really say no to a subsidized education."

"Soccer?"

"Rugby."

"Gay." That made Katniss laugh and finally regain eye contact. This time Johanna adjusted her smile to be charming still, but not salacious. Something to make her more comfortable. Nodding down to the nearby wharf, she proposed, "A walk, you said?"

They began catching up as they wandered down to the water, sticking to lighter topics like Johanna's major in college (political science) and how Katniss was convinced to change sports (quite easily - she had anger issues in early high school and tackling people sounded like a positive way to release some aggression). Johanna wanted to ask about those anger issues, and if it had anything to do with her parents, and if she'd ever been reunited with her mom, if her mom was even alive, but she didn't dare. There were lots of other people around, and besides, things were going so well and she didn't want to screw it up. So she kept her questions light and enjoyed the moment, suggested they get ice cream like old times.

Armed with their double scoops in waffle cones, they made their way down an alley of houseboats, away from the crowd. They didn't talk, too busy enjoying the treat before it could all melt, but it was a contented silence. Katniss's smile was infectious, making Johanna's chest feel a little lighter as she licked her dribbling cone. Katniss had never been one to smile much. Her lips were bright red from the raspberry sherbert she had stacked on top of her customary peanut butter chocolate, and Johanna caught herself staring as they neared the end of the dock. Blinking away, she scolded herself internally.

Once they were sitting with their legs dangling off the edge, feet mere inches above the water, Katniss broke the silence with a pensive chuckle. "Mom will shit herself when I tell her I ran into you here."

Relief washed over Johanna, allowing her to fully relax. "She got you guys back?"

Katniss nodded, eyes flitting out over the water. "It took her a couple years. She was in and out of the psych ward for a long time. Losing us didn't help her mental state."

"Why didn't you ever call?"

"What?"

Johanna was wincing at her own lack of a filter even before Katniss looked over with a wide-eyed stare. Feeling her skin tingling with an oncoming blush, she doubled down to cover her embarrassment. "What, have you gone deaf now, brainless?" That came out with more venom than intended, a sharp edge in her voice. "Why didn't you call me?"

"I mean, that was years ago," shrugged Katniss. "Does it really matter?"

"It matters to me," snapped Johanna. "I was your friend, Katniss."

"Were you?" Those words made Jo's jaw slacken. Katniss didn't even say it with any anger or malice, just a resigned curiosity, and it made her feel even worse. "You made me feel like a real nuisance sometimes," she said, squinting into Jo's eyes. "Like that annoying little kid who wouldn't leave you alone."

Johanna sighed, anger and guilt playing tug of war in her gut. "I know, and I'm sorry for that. But when you left, I told you. I told you what I wanted. How I really felt."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings." Katniss frowned at her knees. "I didn't know I could."

"You have no idea, the effect you can have," muttered Johanna, her own eyes flicking away. Scowling at nothing in particular, she licked at a sticky trail of chocolate cutting its way over her knuckles. So much for not screwing things up. Pissed at herself and Katniss in equal measure, Johanna set about devouring her cone in large bites.

"I almost called you, lots of times." The words came out of nowhere. Jo involuntarily turned her head, eyes bulging. As she swallowed down her latest mouthful, Katniss hesitantly met her gaze. "I didn't know if I could handle talking to you. Thinking about everything I'd lost." Her eyes fell with the confession. "Then by the time we were back home, you'd left town for school. Figured you'd probably forgotten all about me."

"No. Never." Johanna leaned in and gripped her wrist. "If I'd known you were back, I would've reached out to you. When I was home for vacations and-"

"Don't. It's okay." Lifting her head again, Katniss gave a regretful sigh. "I'm sorry about the way I acted last time I saw you. When Effie came to get us."

Johanna squinted. "What's wrong with how you acted?"

"I shut you out." Her throat bobbed slightly. "That was something I kept wishing I could do over, for years."

"Katniss, that's okay," Johanna assured her with a gentle squeeze of her wrist. "I knew it wasn't personal. You had to hold yourself together."

"It kind of was personal, actually." Jo could feel her eyes growing wider even before Katniss told her, "If anyone could make me fall apart, it was you."

Now it was her turn to swallow. "Why me?"

"Because losing you was going to hurt." Katniss's mouth twitched, something Johanna remembered would happen when she was trying to hold back tears. It made her own eyes begin to sting. "I didn't have a lot of friends, and you'd always taken care of me." Swallowing again, Katniss shook her head and averted her eyes to the harbour on the other side of the inlet. "But I knew I couldn't rely on anyone else, ever again. Even if they promised to be there for me, like you did… they could get taken away."

Johanna's hand drifted over to rest on Katniss's knee. "I'm sorry you went through all that," she said. Katniss barely nodded, jaw set tightly. Unsure if it was the right or the wrong thing to say, Johanna hesitated slightly before admitting, "It hurt me too, you know. Losing you."

Katniss's head turned, eyes going wide. Her bottom lip trembled for just a second, then before Johanna had any time to react she was leaning in and pressing their cold lips together. It was a few seconds before she pulled back, leaving Johanna blinking away her shock. Katniss blushed profusely, rubbing the back of her neck again. Directing her sheepish smirk at her knees, she muttered, "Sorry, I've wanted to do that for… always."

Jo's eyelids fluttered. "Really?"

"...Yeah." Katniss blushed yet darker with that halting confession, turning her attention back to her ice cream.

Johanna watched her a moment, then let out a smug chuckle. "You know, I wondered sometimes if you had a crush on me, but I figured I was imagining it and you'd probably just latched onto me so you could have a big sister."

"A little of both, maybe," admitted Katniss.

Johanna shook her head with a light tsk. "Should've known. From the day we met, you always stared at me."

Katniss turned her head, one eyebrow cocked drolly. "Can you blame me?" Johanna felt a flush coming over her own face and cursed herself internally. Katniss chuckled and took another lick of her cone. "I wish I'd known you'd turn out to be gay too."

"Bi," Johanna corrected her. Katniss's eyebrow arched again and Jo felt her own face hardening. "Is that a problem?" She'd had plenty enough of biphobic lesbians in college, thank you very much.

"No," said Katniss. She shrugged too casually, looking off across the water. "Just more competition, I guess."

A smile started to pull at Johanna's lips, and she nudged Katniss's knee with hers. "Well, you have my attention." Katniss caught her eye, a shy smile growing on her face.

They stayed there for a while after they finished their ice cream, enjoying the cool sea breeze and each other's company. But eventually a group of tourists wandered down the same dock, taking pictures and talking very loudly, and that just ruined the atmosphere. The two of them shared a glance and got up, slowly walking back to the festival. They were just re-entering the park when Katniss asked, "When did you figure out you liked girls? Like, how old were you?"

Johanna's brow furrowed as she thought this over. "I dunno. Thirteen, fourteen maybe." Catching Katniss's eye, she lifted an eyebrow. "You?"

"Eleven, I guess?"

Johanna stopped in her tracks, mouth falling open. "Really?" Katniss had never seemed that in tune with herself.

"Yeah," she chuckled. "My dad kinda helped me figure it out. I'd taken to watching Xena reruns-"

Johanna snorted. "Gay."

"I know, right? Anyway, he noticed I was really into the show and like… always watched very intently when they were having those intense romantic scenes, you know?"

"Yeah, sure do."

"But it's not spelled out, right? So I was a little confused, but I knew I wanted to feel close to another woman in that way." Katniss's brow creased, voice going quieter as she added, "And for some reason, I knew this was something I shouldn't tell people." Her mouth twitched into a sad smile. "Then my dad asked if I ever felt about girls the way they felt about each other. And he said that if I did, it was okay."

"Shit." Johanna swallowed down the tightness forming in her throat. "He really knew you, didn't he?"

"Better than anyone." Eyes flicking away, Katniss slowly started walking again. As Johanna caught up, she added, "I told him I really liked you, and he didn't seem at all surprised. Said you were too old for me right now but maybe one day. Then I told him you had a boyfriend and I hated him."

Johanna laughed. "You really did. You hated his guts."

Katniss caught her eye with a sheepish shrug. "Probably wasn't fair. It's not like it was his fault."

"It's okay. I was irrationally jealous of Prim because she got to spend so much time with you."

"Really?" Katniss squinted down at her. "I didn't think you cared."

"I'm very good at pretending I don't care about things," Johanna informed her.

Katniss snorted inwardly. "I'm not."

"I know," said Jo, an affectionate smile sprouting on her lips. "I like that about you." Gripping Katniss's tank top, she pulled her to a stop and leaned in for another kiss. Unlike that abrupt peck on the docks, this one lasted. Until Jo's chuckle broke their lips apart. "This feels backwards," she said, drumming her fingers linked behind Katniss's neck.

"I know," beamed Katniss. "It's great."

"I like tall girls, I'm just not used to you being one of them."

Smile softening, Katniss gazed down at her for a moment before asking, "Wanna come back to my place?"

Johanna arched her eyebrows saucily. "When did you get so bold?"

Katniss turned bright red, hands jumping back from Jo's hips. "No, I mean… do you want to come say hi to Mom and Prim? Hang out, play some video games, like old times? It's crowded and hot here, I'm getting tired."

Johanna's head tipped to the side. "Actually, yeah. Let's get the hell out of here."


	6. Part 6: 2012

A/N: Who wants more payoff fluff with a side of angst?

* * *

It wasn't far to the parking lot. As they closed in on it, Johanna asked, "Did you drive?"

Katniss shook her head. "No, I took the bus."

"Then you can come with me," said Johanna, flashing her keys. "I have my parents' car, they're out of town for a few weeks."

"You don't have to share it with your siblings?"

"Brittany and Wade moved out years ago and Aaron's off working the oil fields in Alberta."

Katniss gave an approving nod. "That's good money."

"When he moves back he won't have to live at home anymore, that's for sure. So, no. It's just me." Her parents' car was old and didn't have a fob, so Johanna unlocked it manually and leaned across the passenger's seat to open the other door. While Katniss strapped herself in, Jo grabbed her t-shirt from the backseat and pulled it over her head. Buckling up and starting the car, she asked, "Same house?"

"Yeah. You remember where it is?"

"Of course I do. You think I got amnesia, brainless?"

The drive to the Everdeen house was pretty chill, the two of them exchanging stories over the radio softly playing in the background. It was wholly uneventful until Johanna turned up a Taylor Swift song on the radio and started jamming out. Katniss's eyebrows rocketed skyward. "Wow, never thought you'd have such preppy taste in music," she teased. "Weren't you a skater chick?"

Johanna scoffed. "Fuck you, Katniss, we can't all be dark and tortured." Grinning slyly, she added, "I remember you and your Evanescence poster, back when they were cool."

"Still have the poster, still think they're cool."

"Pfft, that's just because you want to make Amy Lee scream on key."

"Um, rude," said Katniss, laying a hand on her chest in what Johanna hoped was mock offense. "And that's not true. I mean don't get me wrong, I totally would, but I do actually like her music."

"Suuuuure, Everdeen. You just wanna wake her up inside," Johanna drawled, miming the appropriate (and extremely inappropriate) finger motion.

Katniss's cheeks flared up and she turned away with a huff. "You're insufferable, you know that?"

"Sure do."

They pulled up to the curb a few minutes later and Katniss hopped out, eager to lead the way. Looking back over her shoulder as Johanna rounded the hood of the car, she tripped and stumbled forward a couple of steps. Johanna couldn't help snorting. "Am I distracting you?" Katniss flipped her off, which only made her laugh again. As her chuckles died down, a wave of nostalgia brought a fond smile to her lips. "Hey, remember when I taught you how to walk?"

Stopping in her tracks, Katniss turned and blinked incredulously. "You taught me to walk?"

"I taught you how to do a lot of things," Johanna informed her with a proud grin. "Walk. Pout. Swear."

Katniss nodded slowly, a sly smile creeping onto her face. "I think you'll find I don't need as much instruction now, Jojo." She punctuated that with a wink that gave Johanna a headrush of disbelief and, well, arousal. _That_ was definitely not something she expected to come out of Katniss's mouth.

Jo tried to keep a straight face, but felt her jaw slipping open nonetheless. Snapping it shut, she retorted, "You just tripped over your own feet, brainless." Katniss just gave her a patronizing nod, so she tried to wipe that smug smirk off her face. "Seems to me you could still stand to learn a thing or two."

"Maybe," Katniss said airily, shrugging as she started toward the house again. Whether or not it was to hide another blush, Johanna never found out.

As Katniss kicked her shoes off at the door, she called out, "Hey, Mom, it's me."

"Hi, honey," came a familiar voice from around the corner. Johanna couldn't help smiling. That voice reminded her of better times, the simpler world they inhabited before the explosion that ripped it to shreds. "How was the festival?"

"Awesome," Katniss declared as she stepped into the doorway leading to the kitchen. Not looking back, she flourished in Johanna's direction. "Look what I found."

When Johanna stepped into view, Mrs. Everdeen's eyes popped open and then brightened. Her hand flew to her chest. "Johanna Mason, as I live and breathe."

"Hi, Mrs. E.," Jo answered with a wave much too shy for her own liking.

"Oh, it's so good to see you," she said, coming over and greeting her with a big hug. "How have you been? How's your mom?"

"Uh, great. Both of us, great," Johanna bumbled awkwardly. "I just moved home in May after finishing college. That part's less great, but hopefully I'll be able to get my own place soon."

"Good for you, I'm glad to see you're doing well." Loosely wrapping an arm around her daughter's shoulders, she bragged, "Katniss is starting school this fall. Did she tell you she got a rugby scholarship?"

"I did, Mom," Katniss interjected with an impatient eye roll, shrugging out from under her arm. "We've had lots of time to swap stories."

"Oh, so you told her about Madge?" Turning back to Johanna, Mrs. Everdeen remarked, "She was a sweet girl, really, but I couldn't see that going anywhere."

"Mom!"

Squeezing Johanna's shoulder with a wink, Mrs. Everdeen added, "Katniss needs someone more dependable in her life." Katniss's eyes went wide as saucers, and Johanna might have laughed if she weren't so embarrassed on her behalf.

"Okay, bye!" Latching onto Johanna's shirt, Katniss dragged her away from the conversation. Halfway down the hall she turned to her, looking absolutely mortified. "I am so sorry."

"I see you got your powers of subtlety from your mom," deadpanned Johanna.

"Shut up."

They set up the old Sega console to play some Sonic, Johanna's favorite. And as usual, the gaming quickly devolved into a bunch of trashtalking. When Katniss finished the first Zone way ahead of Johanna, she knocked knees and teased her, "Come on, Tails, keep up! Don't make me cut you loose."

"Cut me some slack, asshole," Johanna grumbled, staring intently at her half of the screen. "You know we never had a console."

"Aren't you a grown up now, little miss college graduate?" Katniss flicked Johanna's ear and she yelped, glaring at Katniss for a split second before she remembered what she was doing. "You could buy one, you know."

"I'm a grown up with no money, teenybopper," huffed Johanna.

"Oh, you take that back." Grabbing Johanna in a headlock, Katniss ground her knuckles into the top of her head.

"Ow! Katniss, stop! I'm trying to-" Peering through the gap in her arms, Johanna somehow got Tails past the finish line before knocking Katniss's arms away with a glare. "Asshole."

"Katniss, be nice to your guest," her mom called out from the other room.

Katiss rolled her eyes and hollered back, "Dad used to say Johanna's not a guest, she's basically family."

"And you haven't seen her for years," replied Mrs. Everdeen, her mom voice still going full blast. "Play nicely, please."

Katniss glared in her general direction and then turned back to Johanna, a sour expression on her face as she scooped up her controller from the couch. Hoping to make her smile again, Johanna joked, "Hey, at least we're not playing MarioKart. Then it gets like the Thunderdome in here."

The corner of her mouth twitched. "Yeah, 'cept now _I'd_ be able to wrestle _you_ down."

"I'm sure you could," Johanna assured her with a salacious wink. Katniss flushed again and turned her attention back to the game, getting set for Act 2. Oh, so she could give it, but couldn't take it? Shaking her head, Johanna decided to take pity on her and deflected, "You're loving the size advantage, aren't you?"

"Can you blame me?" grinned Katniss, daring to meet her eyes again. "You're a youngest child, you know what it's like."

They'd just started Marble Zone Act 1 when Mrs. Everdeen announced she was going grocery shopping. A wicked grin split Johanna's lips when she heard the door close behind her. So motivated to finish the level, she actually beat Katniss to the end this time, though she admittedly passed up a bunch of rings.

"What's your rush?" Katniss asked absently, eyes on the screen. Johanna didn't answer verbally, but as soon as Katniss finished she snatched her controller away. Unceremoniously dropping both controllers on the carpet, Johanna climbed onto Katniss's lap and straddled her waist with a cheeky grin.

Katniss peered up at her bemusedly, her tone playful but warning. "Johanna."

"Too fast?" smirked Johanna, sitting back on Katniss's knees. "Sorry, it's a reflex from high school. Start making out as soon as the parent leaves, take advantage of the time you have."

Her sparkling gray eyes narrowed into an amused squint. "We could've just gone upstairs, if you were that thirsty."

Johanna's eyes widened. "Your mom lets you bang in the house?" Katniss tipped her head, cocking a single eyebrow. Catching her drift, Johanna started tripping over her words in shock. "Well, I mean, I guess you're eighteen…"

"I haven't, not since Madge," clarified Katniss. "But no, she never stopped me. Things…" Her brow furrowed, lips pursing as she averted her eyes. "Things weren't good between me and her when we first got back, and she never wanted to do anything to make it worse."

"You mean you didn't have any rules?" Johanna gaped.

"Not really, no."

"Damn." Johanna was admittedly very, very jealous. The number of seat belt imprints she'd gotten on her back throughout high school spoke for itself. "How'd you pull that off?"

Katniss shrugged. "I told her she didn't have the right to parent me anymore after abandoning us like that."

Jo whistled in through her teeth. "Isn't that a little harsh?"

"So was being in foster care," Katniss retorted, eyes narrowing dangerously.

"Touche. Sorry, I just…" Dragging a hand down her face, Johanna organized her thoughts. "I've had some bouts of depression too, in high school and college. So I know what it's like. But that doesn't mean she's not responsible for what happened to you. You're right. You were her kid, and she let you down."

Still squinting, Katniss's face turned thoughtful. "I don't remember you being depressed."

"It was after… after all that," Jo said quickly, waving it off. "Besides, I was always pretty good at hiding it."

"I'm not," mumbled Katniss. "But I have meds, and that helps."

Johanna's eyebrows arched slightly. "You too, huh?"

"They say it's genetic," shrugged Katniss. "Given the right circumstances, it can rear its ugly head. And there were definitely circumstances." Teeth playing at her lip, her eyes flicked up again, filled with a surprising level of vulnerability that made Johanna's heart ache with both sorrow and want. "Does that freak you out?"

Forcing her lips into a reassuring smile, Johanna remarked, "It would be kind of hypocritical if it did." When Katniss returned her smile, Johanna's was able to relax into something more genuine. It was a moment before she noticed their positioning once again and awkwardly shifted her weight. Tipping her head down to hide her blush, she mumbled, "Sorry, I'll-"

Katniss gripped the sides of Jo's t-shirt and held her fast, shaking her head. "It's okay." But she made no further move to close the gap, leading to Johanna raising a challenging eyebrow.

"Then kiss me, you coward," she teased.

Katniss scoffed, genuinely offended. "Excuse you, who kissed who on the docks?"

Leaning in with a grin, Johanna pressed their foreheads together. "Shut up. Less talking, more kissing."

A low growl rumbled out of Katniss's throat, sending a rush of heat to Johanna's belly. Katniss reached up to pull her in by the back of her neck, fingers weaving in her hair. When their lips made contact, Johanna hummed into the kiss and wiggled closer in Katniss's lap, smirking when she felt Katniss's breath catch. Those gray eyes narrowed and next thing she knew she was flat on her back, Katniss looming over her with a cocky grin.

Johanna remembered her first adventure with Blight on this very couch in an insane amount of detail. How could she not? It was the first time anyone else got her off. But while that was a most pleasant memory, she much preferred having Katniss pressed into her from above. Swallowing the burr of lust that wanted to come through in her voice, she observed, "Well, I was right about the Thunderdome."

"Pfft, it's not like you even fought back," smirked Katniss. "I didn't take you for such a bottom."

Johanna shrugged noncommittally. "I have my moments." Lots of moments, truthfully, but she wasn't about to admit that then.

"Whatever you say, pillow princess."

That did it. Libido be damned, Jo's honor was at stake. With a quick strike she rolled off the couch, landing on top of Katniss and swiftly putting her in a hold. Katniss fought back playfully for a moment until she realized she was truly pinned, then her eyes went wide as she continued to struggle. Johanna chuckled at her predicament. "Careful who you fuck with, Everdeen. You forget I was a wrestler?"

Katniss scoffed, though it was hardly distinguishable from her grunts of effort. "And you called rugby gay."

"That wasn't an insult, just a fact."

Leveraging her superior body weight, Katniss braced a foot against the couch and rolled on top of her. Overpowered but far from ready to surrender, Johanna jammed her fingers into Katniss's side just above her hip. She remembered all her weak spots. When she began to tickle Katniss, the girl rolled back off of her with a howl. "Hey, that's cheating!"

"When have I ever fought fair?" Katniss glared at her from her spot beside her on the carpet, and Johanna let her grin relax into a non-threatening smile. "Truce?"

"Whatever," grumbled Katniss.

Getting to her feet, Johanna offered Katniss a hand up and then immediately pulled her back down next to her on the couch. They settled on their sides this time. No winners, no losers. Brushing fingers over Katniss's cheek, Johanna masked her nervous giggle with a teasing chuckle. "You should've seen your face."

Katniss glowered petulantly and grabbed the front of Jo's shirt, pulling her in for another kiss. It started forceful but quickly relaxed. Things stayed that way, slow and not too heavy. Enjoyable. It didn't give Johanna that same rush of lust from before, but she didn't mind. Reconnecting, rekindling whatever they had before was more important. No need to start a blazing fire immediately. Johanna had long stopped believing she'd find Katniss again, but now that she had, she knew they had time.

Some indeterminable length of time later, they heard a key clicking in the lock and Katniss pulled back, her head lifting as she listened intently. A few footsteps and a bit of rustling later, she called out, "Hey, Prim, come check this out!"

"What?" came the words from down the hall. Prim's voice was deeper than Johanna remembered, but it still sounded just like her.

"I have a surprise for you," Katniss replied, sitting up and straightening out her clothes. Johanna followed her lead.

A few seconds passed before Prim inquired, "Does this surprise wear black Converse?"

"Shut up, just come here."

Footsteps echoed down the hall and then Prim stopped short in the doorway, staring at their long lost babysitter. "Oh my god."

"Hi, Prim." She waved with an embarrassingly soft and genuine smile, and Prim's face lit up. She hurried over and Johanna stood to meet her, letting the girl throw gangly arms around her shoulders. The growth spurt had certainly been kind to her. Johanna chuckled as she patted Prim's back. "Wow, even you're taller than me now."

"It's not hard," her sister pitched in from the couch.

"Shut up, Katniss."

"Where did you come from?" Prim piped up, pulling back enough to see Johanna's face.

"Aw, jeez, hasn't your mommy taught you how babies are made?" teased Johanna, bringing on a scowl from the 14 year-old.

"I found her at Pride," Katniss answered on her behalf.

"Oh. _Oh_." Suddenly Prim was grinning ear to ear, eyes flicking back and forth between them.

Katniss rolled her eyes. "She's just here to hang out."

"Yeah," Jo pitched in, "I wanted to see you guys again."

"Well, you've seen me," Prim replied with jazz hands. "I'm gonna go upstairs and let you guys do… whatever it was you were doing."

"We're playing Sonic, you twerp," snapped Katniss.

Prim raised an eyebrow, nodding at the TV. "Is that why the screen's gone to sleep?" Katniss threw a cushion at her and Prim retreated to the stairs with a chuckle. As she ascended, she began to sing softly. "Johanna and Katniss, sitting in a tree…"

"I'm going to murder you in your sleep, Primrose!" Katniss hollered up the stairs, drawing a devious cackle out of her younger sister. Johanna couldn't help chuckling herself. Mocking your older siblings for their sexual exploits is one of the few perks of being the baby. Katniss turned back to her with an irritated scowl that failed to mask her flushed cheeks.

"I wish my family was ever this invested in getting me a girlfriend," Johanna cracked to ease the tension, and Katniss groaned.

"Trust me, you don't. They mean well, but ugh."

"I think it's cute. Kind of weird they assume we'd hook up just because we're both into girls, but the straights be like that."

"Uh, yeah," Katniss chuckled nervously. "About that. A few years ago they kinda figured out I had a crush on you, back in the day. It's been kind of a running joke, whenever they feel like humiliating me." Sighing into her palms, she groaned, "I'm never gonna hear the end of this."

Struck dumb, it took Jo a moment to respond. "Well, that explains a lot. Surprised you even brought me here, then."

"It's worth it." Fiddling with the hem of her board shorts, Katniss murmured, "I just… don't want you to feel obligated to get involved with me that way." Her eyes flitted up, meeting Johanna's shyly. "I'm just glad we reconnected, I don't want to wreck that or make it feel awkward."

"Obligated's the last thing I feel. Don't worry about it, Everdeen," Johanna assured her, bumping shoulders. Scooping the controllers off the floor, she tossed Katniss's into her lap. "Come on, Marble Zone won't wait all day."

When Mrs. Everdeen got home she roped both girls into helping her carry in and put away the groceries. "Just like old times," Johanna chuckled to Katniss as they made their way to the door. Finding Mrs. Everdeen digging out more bags from the trunk, she joked, "So much for being a guest."

"I think of it as earning your keep," Mrs. Everdeen swiftly parried. "You're staying for dinner, aren't you?" Then Johanna was staying.

Dinner was a blast. Hanging with (most of) the family again brought Johanna a kind of bone-deep joy she had truly missed. The cooking was excellent as well, and Prim had even whipped up a dessert in Johanna's honor. That was a little awkward, but it also made her chest swell. In many ways she had always felt just as at home in this house as she did in her own. It was nice to have that back.

Johanna offered to help with the dishes but Mrs. Everdeen declined, so apparently she'd already done enough to earn her keep. With no other pressing reason to stay and exhaustion creeping into her bones, she excused herself from the table. "Thanks for everything, but I should be going. I work early tomorrow, need my beauty sleep."

"No you don't," Mrs. Everdeen replied with a charming smile.

Happy to play along, Johanna shot her a wink. "Aw, thanks Mrs. E." She didn't miss the way Katniss blushed at the exchange.

As Johanna pushed her chair out to stand, Katniss followed suit. "I'll walk you out."

"Cool," Jo smiled, hoping her face didn't give away the tiny flutter in her chest.

As they walked down the front steps toward Johanna's car, Katniss shoved her hands deep in her pockets. "Sorry, my mom can be a lot. She tries a little too hard now, to make up for everything." They made it to the curb and she turned to Johanna with a shy smile. "Hope you had fun, anyway."

"Yeah," she answered immediately. "Yeah, I think this might've been the best day of my life." She only thought to blush after the words tumbled out of her mouth, but Katniss's smile was so bright and genuine that she couldn't help but mirror it. Katniss stepped closer and Johanna flicked her eyes toward the house and back. "You know they're probably watching us, right?"

"Small price to pay." Lifting a hand to graze her thumb over Johanna's cheekbone, Katniss leaned in and kissed her softly. She started to pull back after a couple seconds but Johanna grabbed hold of her shirt and pushed up on her toes, deepening the kiss.

Once Katniss got the message and added a little tongue, Johanna let her hands meander up the girl's sides and into her hair. Lingering a little in the shaved portions under the ponytail, she threaded her fingers into the longer bits and grinned, giving Katniss's lip a little nibble. Katniss gave her something resembling a warning glare, but her smile made the reprimand wholly ineffective. Nuzzling Johanna's nose a little on the way in, she tipped her head down for one last peck.

"Call me," Johanna said as they finally broke apart.

"Okay."

"For real, this time," she insisted.

"I know," Katniss concurred with a determined nod. "I will, I promise."

***o***

Tossing her keys on the kitchen table, Johanna dropped her backpack onto one of the chairs with a sigh. Best day of her life or not, it had been incredibly exhausting. She'd had her phone on silent for much of the afternoon, so she dug it out to check for anything important before taking a much needed shower.

On her way up the stairs she found a few texts from a name she didn't recognize at first - right, one of the girls she'd met earlier in the day. Awkward. Then she noticed a missed call from Katniss and a voicemail. Smiling down at her phone like a twelve year-old with her first crush, Johanna called her voicemail. She tapped in her passcode and put the phone to her ear, nibbling her lip nervously. But there was no need for nerves. The words she heard next made her smile brighter than the sun.

"Hi, it's Katniss. Just so you know I meant it."

* * *

A/N: This fic is almost done, we've got one or maybe two more chapters to go. I hope to have it done by the end of the year, though possibly sooner, depending on what's going on with my other projects and real life stuff.

For those of you waiting on an update for Loyalty, it's coming soon, I promise.


	7. Part 7: 2012

A/N: Honestly this is mostly just a bunch of cute fluff of Joniss flirting and reconnecting. We also get our first official date! And yes, there will be one final chapter (and maybe an epilogue?) after this.

Content Warning for a brief reference to corporeal punishment and a joke about its associated kinks.

* * *

Grinning ear to ear, Johanna saved the message and fired off a text as she started getting ready for bed.

J: That was fast

K: Wanna grab a coffee on Tuesday afternoon?

J: Are you asking me on a date?

K: Maybe.

J: Did your mom put you up to this?

K: Shut up. No.

J: Then I kindly accept the offer

K: Whatever, weirdo. Starbucks downtown, 4:30 PM.

J: Which one lol?

She whipped through her shower so she could continue the conversation. When she stepped out a few minutes later and wrapped herself in a towel, the reply she found made her smirk.

K: Right, sorry. The one in the mall.

J: Do you always text with proper punctuation?

J: You're 18, not 80

K: Aren't you supposed to be getting your beauty sleep, not harrassing me?

J: Making up for all those lost years ;)

K: Go to bed, Mason. I'll text you tomorrow.

J: Oh I'm definitely texting you first

K: Go. To. Bed.

J: Okay, Little Miss Bossy

K: That's Big Miss Bossy to you. ;)

That gave her a chuckle. No doubt Katniss was loving this after all those years of Johanna telling her what to do. But Johanna didn't mind. To be honest, the attitude was cute, and maybe a little bit of a turn on.

Johanna didn't sleep much that night. But the next morning, she was the happiest anyone had ever seen her on a Monday.

When she got home from work on Tuesday, she spent a stupid amount of time trying to decide what to wear. Fall through spring is easy enough, a flannel or a henley and some jeans suffices. But summer leaves so many options. Eventually she settled on a look Katniss would remember well: skate shoes, distressed tank top, long shorts and some aviators. She decided to forego makeup but spent several minutes playing with her short hair to get it appropriately messy. It takes a lot of effort to look like you put in no effort at all.

She was a few minutes out of downtown when her phone chimed with the text tone she'd set for Katniss. Her smile was immediate and insuppressible. Resisting the immense temptation to check it at a stoplight, she fidgeted all the way to the parkade. Turning off the engine with a sigh of relief, she dug out her phone.

K: Sorry, I'll be like ten minutes late. Got held up at work, just catching a bus now.

J: All good

On her way out of the parkade, Jo had a thought. Whipping her phone back out, she began typing as she walked.

J: What's your drink? I'll be there in a few

When Katniss didn't reply right away, she added,

J: Save you waiting in line

K: And here I thought you were trying to be chivalrous.

Johanna laughed. She could just hear that in Katniss's signature deadpan tone. Only deeper, now. Nice.

K: Iced coffee please and thanks. 1 and 2.

J: Venti?

K: It's 4 PM, what's wrong with you? Tall is fine.

J: Caffeine is a girl's best friend. What's wrong with you?

J: How about a venti half-caff?

K: Smart. Go for it.

J: One of us has to be smart. We can't all get athletic scholarships ;)

K: *middle finger emoji*

K: I had a 3.6 thank you very mu h,

K: *much.

K: I hate these stupid smartphones, how do people text with these?

J: God, you're cute

K: I miss my razr.

J: First time as a bisexual I've appreciated having small fingers ;)

Katniss didn't answer that, which wasn't surprising but slightly disappointing nonetheless. Teasing is no fun without a reaction. It was true when they were kids, and it was even truer now that they were adults.

Johanna had only been waiting outside with their drinks for a few minutes before Katniss showed up, slightly out of breath and swiping stray hairs from her sweaty forehead. For someone so concerned about being on time for a date, she didn't seem to have put any thought into her appearance. It was equally endearing and predictable. To be fair, she'd also come straight from work. Jo could give her a pass.

"Sorry about that," she panted. "Thanks."

"No problem," said Jo, handing over Katniss's drink. "Wanna walk down to the harbour?"

"Please."

As they started wandering that way, Johanna asked, "Your boss hold you up?"

"No, one of the parents wanted to talk about safety regulations with me and Gale. Suburban white ladies are the bane of my existence."

"You mean like your mom?" chuckled Johanna. She couldn't resist.

Katniss smirked. "Check that, the kind of suburban white ladies who send their kids to day camp so they can go to the spa, not so they can go to work."

Cocking an eyebrow, Johanna asked, "You work at a day camp?"

"Yeah, through the summer anyway. Finally got to quit slinging burgers, it's nice. Pays a hell of a lot better too." When Jo just kept staring at her, Katniss blinked. "What?"

"I'm sorry, you just don't seem like the type of person who would want to be around a bunch of screaming children all day."

"Oh, I'm not," clarified Katniss. "They're 8-12, and we get a few groups for like an hour at a time. Besides, archery's fun, so they're pretty cooperative. And if they're not, I get to kick them out. No goofing around with weapons and all."

"Oh, you kept up the archery? Nice!"

Katniss shrugged like this was no big deal, but she couldn't hide her hint of a smile. "I mean, I didn't really do it competitively or anything, but yeah."

Nibbling on her straw, Johanna pondered whether it was socially acceptable to ask about a potentially upsetting topic on the first date. Then again, they'd talked about much worse already. Eyeing Katniss in her peripheral vision, she casually asked, "You still hunt?" She figured there was no need to add the 'now that your dad's dead' part.

Seemingly unbothered, Katniss shook her head. "You have to be accompanied by an adult, and I never had anyone to take me. I was thinking about going this year, but university rugby season is in the fall so I'll be busy with pre-season training during bow-only season, and rugby season and open season are going on at the same time. Not to mention the actual school part. Sucks, but what can you do?"

Brow furrowing in thought, Jo frowned. "Okay, maybe I totally don't know what I'm talking about, but I thought you guys were allowed to hunt year-round. You just couldn't bring me until bow season opened up, right?"

"Well," Katniss smirked, " _technically_ I wasn't supposed to go with him until it opened either because I don't have a status card and I'd need a bunch of additional licensing and permission from whichever local nation's traditional territory we were on, but I look native enough he figured we could get away with it if anyone questioned it." Chuckling inwardly, she mused, "Good thing Prim was never interested, she would've been shit outta luck."

Johanna blinked. "Wait, you're non-status?"

"I mean, I'm not even really that since I'm not affiliated with any nation, but close enough."

"What percentage do you have to be to get it?" inquired Jo, squinting curiously. She vaguely knew about the concept of status vs. non-status natives, but the rules had always seemed kind of murky.

Katniss rolled her eyes. "It's not about percentage so much as lineage. Depends on which side of the family and who married who when. My grandma lost her status when she married my grandad, then got her and my dad reinstated after the amendment in '85. But since my mom's not native, his kids don't get status. But if my grandma had been my grandad and therefore never lost status in the first place, we would still have it."

It took Jo a moment to absorb all that. "Huh."

"It's a bunch of bullshit, but it's not like I ever felt that connected to the culture anyway," shrugged Katniss. "My grandma died before I was born. She was from a nation out east and Dad never really got involved when he came out here. He mostly just cared about status for the hunting." Her nose crinkled slightly in thought. "I wouldn't mind the education subsidies, but I ended up getting a partial scholarship anyway, so I guess I can't complain." Lips pursing in a tiny scowl, she added, "Some schools give free tuition to kids who were in foster care, but it has to be for a total of 24 months, and we were just under 22 when you subtract the times Mom had us back for a while. So that sucks."

"Shitty having disadvantages but not enough to get compensation on a technicality," Jo sympathized.

"Yeah, exactly."

They went quiet for a moment as they passed by crowd of loud tourists heading out of the harbour. The brief lull in conversation gave Jo a chance to consider what Katniss just said, and it made her smile waver. She was smart, she could do the math.

Gazing down into her frappuccino, she swirled her straw around in the whipped cream slowly sinking in the cup with every sip. "So, you _were_ back with your mom before I left town."

"Well, yeah, but…" Katniss stammered, eyes widening slightly in alarm, "but never for long enough to feel like I could get attached again. You know? I told you that on Sunday."

Squinting as she considered this, Johanna mumbled to the ground, "Yeah, I guess you did."

"Hey." Katniss elbowed her gently, calling her gaze back. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay," Johanna assured her. "I understand why now."

"I know you do, I just wish I hadn't hurt you," said Katniss, her generally inexpressive voice laden with regret. "If I'd known how you felt…"

Jo brushed this off with a tight smile. "It's in the past now, right? I'm just happy you're here now."

"Yeah, me too," Katniss agreed quietly. Switching her drink to her left hand, she brushed the back of her right against the back of Johanna's left as they continued to walk, prompting her to link their fingers together. The coldness of Katniss's fingers was a pleasant contrast to the summer heat, soothing to the touch.

Johanna stared down at their joined hands, rather impressed with the confidence and smoothness, neither of which she was used to from Katniss. She'd expected she would have to do all the heavy lifting, given Katniss's awkward tendencies and the vast quantity of people she'd dated compared to Katniss's measly one.

On the other hand, maybe that didn't exactly make her an expert at dating.

Lifting their hands a little to examine the fit, she chuckled when she noticed the rough, bitten-off edges of Katniss's nails. "You still bite your nails, huh?"

"Oh, yeah," Katniss admitted sheepishly. "Never got out of the habit, I guess." She started to pull her hand back but Johanna refused to let go, letting them hang in the void between their bodies once more.

Quickly checking no one was too close to them, Johanna leaned in and murmured, "Well, saves you having to clip them. Just file them first, eh? Those rough edges can _not_ be comfortable."

It seemed to take a second before Katniss caught on to what she was implying, her eyes widening slightly and cheeks flushing a deep red. Staring straight ahead, she remarked, "I was going to ask if you're always this forward, but that's a dumb question. I remember how you were with Blight."

"What can I say? I go after what I want, I've always been that way. Why waste my life being shy and embarrassed?" Noticing Katniss was still blushing and avoiding eye contact, Jo gave her hand an apologetic squeeze. "Sorry, I'll stop if I'm making you uncomfortable. I tend to move kinda fast, but I do actually like you, I'm not just trying to like, you know…"

Smirking as she sipped her iced coffee, Katniss teased, "So first you're not shy, and now you can't even say it?"

"Fuck off, Everdeen." Jo lightly punched her in the shoulder with a scowl, careful not to jostle her drink too much. That procured a satisfied chuckle. "Of course I can say it, I just wanna make sure you're comfortable."

"I'm always comfortable around you," Katniss said with a hint of a smile, quiet but sincere.

It was Johanna's turn to blush.

They made their way to the end of the largest pier and sat there overlooking the harbour, watching the boats and floatplanes go by. The warm, rough wood dug at the backs of Johanna's thighs, but she wouldn't have changed a thing. They talked more about the perils of their current jobs (Johanna worked in customer service and could relate to the suburban white lady problem), their dream jobs (politician, forest ranger) and the schooling still standing in the way. Johanna was taking a year off before law school because she was losing her fucking mind, and Katniss was enrolled in general sciences, planning to major in forest biology.

(And yes, since Sunday Johanna may have checked to see if their local university had a faculty of law. She hadn't been sure before if she wanted to stay in town, but her parents were more tolerable now and, admittedly, she may have found another reason to stay.)

They also found time to reminisce about their childhood. Katniss seemed surprisingly okay talking about her dad considering how clammed up she'd been when he first died, but that was somewhat explained by the revelation that she'd been in therapy through most of high school. Between depression, a dead parent, and anger issues, there was plenty to see somebody about.

It was refreshing, being able to talk about everything so openly. Katniss still wasn't someone who volunteered her feelings a lot, but neither was she the poster child for repression. She seemed to have an easier time discussing emotional topics, at least.

That's not to say all the memories they discussed were sad. They'd been sitting there a little over an hour when Johanna remembered a particularly good one. Chuckling to herself, she asked, "Do you remember when you pretended to be scared of the dark so I'd let you sleep in my bed?"

Katniss directed her blush down at the water, fiddling with the straw of her empty cup. "Uh huh. Don't think that one will work anymore."

"Not like you need an excuse," teased Johanna.

Her blush darkened slightly before giving way to a thoughtful expression. "I think my first memory of you… Aaron took Mr. Grumps away and I was crying, and you hit him and took him back." Her brow furrowed as she looked up again. "Then I think your mom spanked you."

"Mm, yes," mused Johanna. "Back when I didn't like spankings."

It wasn't even meant to get much of a reaction out of Katniss, it was just Jo's trademark sense of humor blending sexuality with flippancy and shock value, but she got more than she bargained for. Katniss's eyes bulged, her plastic cup slipping from her hand and landing in the water far below with a muted plop. Johanna couldn't help the way her head tipped back with a high-pitched cackle. "Wow, you okay there, Everdeen?"

"Uh huh," she asserted, but she couldn't even look at her. "I'm great, thanks."

It took a lot of effort not to crack a joke about Katniss maybe having kinky inclinations. That was a step too far, even for Johanna Mason. Instead she remarked, "You know, I'm no Yogi Bear, but I don't think forest rangers are supposed to litter."

Crossing her arms with a huff, Katniss protested, "It's your fault."

"Is not."

"Is too."

"Is not." Johanna stuck her tongue out petulantly and Katniss laughed, gray eyes sparkling in the sun. The long-lost melody softened Johanna's features. How she'd missed that sound.

A cold wind blew in off the water and Johanna shivered. She was starting to regret wearing shorts, but she wasn't about to cut the date short over her unfortunate fashion choices.

Unlucky for her, Katniss did the honours.

"I'm getting hungry," she admitted, twitching her mouth apologetically. "Should probably head home."

"Or we could go for dinner," Jo said before she could think. Immediately she wanted to slap herself for appearing too eager, which was maybe a little silly anyway given her obvious interest in the girl. Deciding to lean into it rather than look like an idiot, she flashed a charming smile and added, "My treat."

Katniss cocked an eyebrow. "Are you asking me on a date?"

"Maybe," smirked Johanna.

That got a smile out of Katniss. "I'd love to, but Prim and I are actually having dinner with our old foster dad tonight. See some of the other kids, you know."

Eyebrows arching, Johanna commented, "That's nice you guys still get along."

"Well, we didn't at first. Haymitch is…" Katniss paused, making a face. "I was gonna say 'an asshole,' but it's more just that he's kinda gruff. And he drinks too much. He takes a bit to get used to. But he cares, really does his best to take care of the kids. It was nice having someone like that, with my mom the way she was."

"I bet." When Katniss hesitated, continued to just sit there, Johanna gestured back at the city. "Well, don't let me make you late."

"Trust me, it's tempting," Katniss nearly purred, a distinct look coming over her eyes that made Johanna shiver again. "And I'll take you up on that dinner some other time. Maybe Friday?"

"Friday it is," said Jo. As Katniss stood, her hesitance to end the date took over again and she suggested, "Hey, how 'bout I drive you home? It's not like you're far from my place, anyway. Then you won't have to rush off to dinner right away."

"Yeah, thanks," said Katniss, shoving her hands in her pockets with a suddenly shy smile. The way she flipflopped between innocent and sultry was starting to give Johanna whiplash. "That'd be great."

If Jo had an ulterior motive, a desire to make out in the car for a few minutes when they got back, well, there was no point mentioning that.

* * *

A/N: I hope that was as fun for you guys to read as it was for me to write. Banter via text message is a particularly fun medium to write. See you guys in the next chapter!


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